*Trigger warning* - cutting
I don't want to hurt you so I lie, I say I'm fine, I say that nothing is wrong and that I am so happy. my life is a mess and I don't know how to clean it. my mind keeps screaming for help but my mouth is shut. my heart and mind are not in the same place, where my mind wants me to tell you everything that is wrong but my heart doesn't want to hurt you. my heart is hurting and is also screaming for attention and hopes that you will see it hurt. my eyes are speaking loudly and the music is my voice.
Please don't force it out it will only end up hurting you and that won't end well for me and you. I don't want to tell you things for the fear that you will try to help me, because helping me won't solve anything, my problems will only get worse.
I try my hardest to tell you but the music I listen to is the voice of my voice, where life is a bitch and addiction is my best friend. Addiction takes you away from reality, from each line, each drop and each litre of blood loss. Am I losing weight from all the blood I've lost? cutting is my addiction and crying is a side effect from me feeling constantly numb but at the same time, every fibre of my body is in excruciating pain.
I'm being selfish for telling you, you have your problems and I don't want you to feel bad for me. please I beg you to let me keep it to myself I love you and I do what I do so I won't hurt you. I don't want to hurt you.
1st update- 7th September 2019
2nd update- 3 December 2019
3rd update- 28 April 2020
YOU ARE READING
Sad Hours
PoetryThis book is mainly rants, poems and thoughts. This has a bunch of cliche story lines but at the same time true life events that have happen to me in te past, this book is where i like out all my emotions from saddness, anger and lovey-dovey shit. S...
