Family Business

finders weepers

I officially hate the Batfam.

Wow, rude.

No, I agree with Jaime on this one. You guys are the worst.

Just because we rock at sardines? And Cassie, I'm your boyfriend. Wtf.

We've been searching for you lot for three hours! Just come out already!

Nope!

Oh, when we find you...

If we find them because let's be real, Bart and I have circled the mountain countless times and I'm pretty sure the Bats can just plain turn invisible.

That would actually explain so much...

I promise, we cannot turn invisible. Y'all just suck at sardines.

Wait, I found them!

Where are they?!

Bitch, you think I'm going to tell you?

I thought we were a team, Artemis.

We are, in everything except this.

Oh when we find you...

Artemis actually had to stifle a laugh when she found the Bat's position because it was just so ridiculous. They were crammed in Red Robin's closet, on the top shelf in the darkest corner, planking on top of one another with a very unhappy looking Red Hood on the bottom with Nightwing on top of him, then Red Robin with Batgirl next, then Spoiler, Black Bat, and Robin topping the pile off. One of them had thrown Robin's black cape over the top of the pile to further conceal their position.

"This looks...cozy." Artemis snorted, stepping into the closet and closing the door behind her. She climbed to the top of the pile, much to the annoyance of those on the bottom, and elbowed Damian out of the way. "Scoot over."

"I will do no such thing."

"Do you want the rest of them to find us?" Damian remained silent but moved over reluctantly, glaring at Artemis as he did so. "Good boy."

"I will murder everyone you love."

"Robin, we talked about this. No murdering until you eat your veggies." Jason mumbled, his voice muffled from being stuffed in the bottom of the pile.

"No, no murdering period." Dick hissed.

"You're no fun."

They all fell into a silence, the only sound was their breathing. Nobody moved a muscle until the closet door flung open after a tense few minutes of silence, eliciting a shocked screech from, surprisingly, Dick.

"Ha! Found you!" Jaime gloated, stepping into the closet and shutting the door behind him, shrouding the group once more in darkness. "No, Scarab, I don't think it is considered cheating that I used you as help after they had been hiding for three hours. After all, you are basically apart of me."

"What? You used that piece of filthy alien tech to help you?" Damian hissed, dislodging Artemis as he jumped from the top of the pile to land in front of Jaime with his katana drawn. "I should've ended it's miserable existence when I had the chance."

"Chill, it's just a game. The rest of the team still has to fi-" Tim was cut off by the closet door practically being ripped off its hinges and the sight of a slightly peeved team. "-nd us. Well, that was fun while it lasted. Anyone up for round two?"

"Ha ha, very funny." Bart glared. "Do you have any idea how much time has passed that we spent looking for you? We could've spent that time trying to find a way out of here!"

"Did...did Bart just think logically?" Wally faux gasped, snickering when his cousin turned his glare on him. "Relax, it wasn't too bad. I don't see why you guys are so mad. I actually had a lot of fun, plus I got my work out in."

"Of course you would look at it that way." Conner drawled, stepping back to avoid the cascade of jumping Bats as they descended from their perches. "Anyways, now that we killed three hours of our timeless sentence in here, what else are we going to do?"

I'm kind of hungry...

Why are you saying that in the mind link?

Because I don't want Robin to think I'm weak!

Weirdo.

"Let's get some food in our bellies." Barbara suggested, giving Bart a knowing look.

The group made their way to the kitchen lounge area, pointedly ignoring the bickering between Red Hood and Red Robin. The team wasn't sure what it was about, exactly, but given the looks on the rest of the Bat's faces, it was something they argued about often.

"Hood, there is no way the team is going to think your cookies are better than Agent A's." Tim sneered.

"I'm not saying my cookies are better, but has the team ever had Agent A's cookies?" Silence. "Thought so. So they have nothing to compare my cookies to besides Miss M's, and we both know mine are infinitely better."

How did he know you bake cookies?

How does he know what they taste like?

Never mind that, why does he think we are going to eat his cookies?!

"Woah, woah, woah! Hold up! You honestly believe you can bake better than M'gann?" Cassie scoffed indignantly.

I don't like where this is headed...

Me neither...

Jason smirked, crossing his arms over his chest challengingly. "Of course I can. Why? Need me to prove it?"

Oh boy, Cassie, what are you getting us into?

"Yes, actually. Since my boyfriend seems to trust you, might as well give it a small shot. You and M'gann will have a bake off and whoever has the better cookie, wins."

"Wins what? Money? Fame? Weapons?"

"No, our respect."

"I don't have your respect already?" M'gann joked.

Jason thought about it for a moment before sauntering up to M'gann, making the Martian shrink back slightly. He grinned lazily, sticking his hand out for her to shake. "Deal. And I won't even ask for a handicap due to my stab wound."

I completely forgot about that.

Me too! How can he walk around right now?

Please, Hood gets stabbed like every other day.

But you said he was just a teenager earlier?

Yeah, and y'all say he is a criminal. Tomato, tomato.

What? That doesn't add up...

Shhh.

Barbara rolled her eyes at the mind link commentary, turning to look at Steph who had found her way on top of the counter and was cupping her hands around her mouth like a megaphone. "So, let the Great Bake Off Of Mount Justice begin!"