Sirius The Jaeger Scenarios & One Shots - a 1215 fanfiction

Yuliy X Philip

I couldn't tell if he knew, because sometimes when he'd glare at me for making some dumb comment, there would be something in his eyes that I knew for sure wasn't hatred. It didn't make any sense, I couldn't tell what was on his mind ever - what he thought about anyone, or even himself. I coudn't even figure out what I thought about myself either though.
All these feelings I had kept getting stronger the more that I tried to ignore them, the more that Yuliy acted recklessly, the more he was around me. I hid it all by hating him - I hated everything honestly, but you couldn't take you're anger out on objects or even yourself as easily as you could just take it out on someone else.

"I'm not gay, though." I mumbled, though when I paused and thought about it my entire body was just laughing at the statement I had just made.
I scowled at myself and rolled over on my bed, shoving my face into a pillow, I can't hide this from myself any longer. I bet Dorothea and the others already know.

My mouth sometimes seemed to move on it's own, really, but even though Yuliy's look made my heart hurt a little bit, the smirk never left my face. Sometimes Fallon would grab onto me and ruffle my hair and try to tell me in some weird fatherly way to be a little nicer or something, but this time he wasn't here.
It was just the two of us, and Yuliy sighed as he looked away from me and back to what was ahead of him. My smile fell now that I knew he wasn't looking, and I wondered why I was even trying to do this anymore. I might as well just shut up for good, cause I might really be hurting him.
"Philip look out!"
I cursed under my breath as I snapped back into reality, raising my gun and firing at the oncoming vampire. Luckily for now, it was just the one.
"What were you thinking about?" Yuliy asked, and I glanced at him to see worry in his eyes, which only made me frown.
"Nothing, lets go."
I'm such an idiot, letting myself get out of hand like that.
"Philip?"
I rolled my eyes at myself, wishing I could bang my head off the wall, or just go to sleep forever even. That would be nice, a real dream come true. Then I could forget about all the problems I have with vampires, and all the pent up emotions I have for Yuliy, and I wouldn't have to deal with the reacuring nightmare of my parents deaths anymore.
"Philip."
HA! This is such a great day for me. If only my brain would leave me the fuck alone.
"Philip!"
I gasped as Yuliy's hand grabbed onto my shoulder, his eyes were narrowed and I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel a wave of fear come up my spine. I swallowed, wondering what the hell I was going to use as some lame and insulting excuse this time.
"What the hell is with you? If you don't get it together, you'll get yourself killed!"
I scoffed, "Says you. You're always running into a fight with no backup - you're the one who always gets himself almost killed!"
"You always turn the issue back onto me. Look at your damn self for once Philip! I'm worried about you, so is everyone else! You've been more distant than usual!"
"I have not-"
We flinched downwards as the ceiling cracked loudly a few feet infront of us, and I rose my gun as Yuliy got into stance, the two vampires that fell barley had a chance to land their feet on the gound before they were a pile of dust.
"Yes, you have." Yuliy growled, turning back to glare at me.
I took a breath, this was getting increasingly frustrating, and soon I would run out of things to say and then the truth would be the only thing left.
"You can talk to me, Philip. I know you don't really like me all that much, but I want to help. And if not me, then the Professor, or Fallon, or Dorothea! We're all here for-!"
"Shut up!" I screamed, "I..." I clenched my teeth, even if I did have something to say that would turn the subject from what I was actually feeling, the words wouldn't come out.
What the hell was happening to me? Is this really what liking someone does to you?
"Even if I did confine in you, you wouldn't be able to help me." I coughed out, immidatly calling myself an idiot afterwards.
No one could forget how things were with Yuliy and Ryoko not too long ago. Sure, I didn't mind it at the time and I even teased the two about it - but now I hated the very thought of her, I hated the sound of her name and the way she looked. But when all that went down, Yuliy made it very clear that he wasn't interested in a relationship, not with the life he led.
"Why not?" He asked, his voice becoming gentler.
Ugh, curse him and all his beautiful glory. I thought to the gods, If only I could just fall into his arms like some poorly written love story.
"Becuase. I just- I don't..." I groaned loudly, ducking my head as I ran a hand back and forth through my hair in my obvious discomfort at my situation.
I tensed as Yuliy started running at me with his weapon ready, "Duck!" He yelled, and I did as told, dropping to the floor and looking behind me as he beheaded the vampire that had tried to sneak up on us.
"This is the worst place to have this conversation." I grumbled quietly, though him and his wolf powers probably heard me anyways.
"Philip, please tell me what's going on." Yuliy began again, "I don't care if you're mad at me, I don't care if you yell or insult me. Just... I don't want you to end up getting hurt if you keep it all inside."
"Fine!" I yelled, "I'm in love with you, okay?! Are we done with this conversation? Great!"
I let out a shaky breath as I stomped past him, not daring to take a glance behind me.
It's not like he was calling out for me anyways.

-

The next morning, a constant knocking on my door forced me to roll out of bed and open the door just to get it to shut up. Usually if it was Dorothea or even Fallon, who could easily tear the door down if he wanted, would leave me alone if I didn't answer within two minutes.
And I don't even think the Professor would put this much effort into waking me up unless something was really wrong.
"Wha-" I blinked, my blood ran cold and I was definitely awake now, "Yuliy..."
"Good morning, Philip. Did I wake you?" He asked, his voice gentle and somehow soothing, even though what he said pissed me off.
"Yeah, but it's fine. What's up?"
"I was hoping we could talk a bit more about what happened last night."
I frowned, lowering my head. I couldn't even look him in the eyes before, but now I didn't even want to watch his lips move as he spoke. I didn't want to even hear his voice, no matter how much I liked the sound of it.
This was just plain embarrassing. I hate talking about my feelings.
"Philip?"
"I don't... look, Yuliy, uh..." I trailed off, unsure of what to say. Who was I to tell him to forget it? I didn't actually want him to forget.
Yuliy cleared his throat, "I was hoping we could talk it over out at that café you like. I know how much you like sweets."
"Huh?"
"So, a date. As Dorothea called it."
I sweat dropped, of course Dorothea gave him his own fucking script before making him come get me.
"Do you even want to go on a date, Yuliy?" I asked, sighing, "Don't force yourself to do things just because Dorothea told you it was a good idea."
"I'm not. And that's pathetic coming from you. Who ever wants their romantic interest to yell at them that they love them as if it's a problem for them?"
My eyes widened and my face burned, my emotions starting to take over and forcing me to finally look at him.
I had blue eyes too, so why were his just as beautiful as a sky you only see once a year?
"I-it's not a problem for me- well, I mean, it was but..." I groaned quietly, just stop talking Philip you love sick fool.
"That's why I want to take about it." Yuliy reached forward and I froze as he grabbed my hand, "I want to take you on a date, and talk about our love for each other. That way, we can work this out and you can tell me that you love me properly."
I could only stutter, my tongue was lost in my mouth and even my mind seemed to forget how to function.
And he shushed me - shushed me, and even though I knew I should have gotten mad I didn't. I just let him put his finger over my lips and smirk at me like that. I just let him tell me what time he was going to take me out, and then I just watched him walk off.
"Oh, also..." Yuliy paused and I blinked, quickly standing up straight.
"Yeah?"
"You should at least wear a shirt in front of me, Philip. I won't always have the energy to keep control of myself."
My eyes bulged as he walked off again, leaving me standing there red and hot and shaking. My stomach was rolling and my head was spinning. But god it felt so good to know he felt the same that it made me want to cry.
I shut the door and fell down to my knees in front of it, pressing my forehead to the cold wood, I smiled and hugged my cold bare arms.

"I won't always have the energy to keep control of myself"
"You fucking bastard." I whispered.