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TEN | THE ADULTS ARE TALKING
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WHEN DAHLIA MCDEEN HAD FIRST BEEN INDOCTRINATED INTO THE AVENGERS, THE FIRST WARNING STEVE HAD GIVEN THEM WAS THAT YOU COULDN'T SAVE EVERYONE. At the time, she'd nodded along and only half paid attention to his words—still bright eyed and in awe at the experience. Besides, he was saying this after she'd managed to bring her boyfriend back from the dead. At the time, all she'd cared about was learning everything she could about being an Avenger. Of course you couldn't save everyone, she had thought as if it were trivial and obvious. Did Captain Rogers think he was making some revolutionary statement by saying that to her?
Only now was she starting to understand exactly what he had meant when he'd given her that warning. She could not, in fact, save everyone. Guilt consumed every orifice of her being. It wasn't what she'd done, per say, but what she'd not been able to do. Her powers were still not back which meant Wanda had to cover everything by herself. She'd been nuisance more then anything—someone Natasha had to babysit, constantly getting in the assassins way. Like a kindergartener would say, she'd tried her best to help but it had no been enough to prevent the tragedy that unfolded.
If her powers still hadn't been blocked then maybe she'd have been better help, maybe Wanda wouldn't have to carry this with her for the rest of her existence. Dahlia sure would carry the 'what if' until her memory would deteriorate with old age. 'A bystander was worse then a perpetrator,' Yema used to say as they flicked through the news channels detailing attacks on the innocent. She'd glare at found footage and the people in the back that would scream and point. (Speaking of Yema, she'd disappeared since the Lagos incident and it stressed Dahlia out more not knowing where she was.) Without her powers, Dahlia was nothing more then a bystander; she didn't have the lifetime of training Natasha did in combat or a freakishly accurate skill with a bow like Clint. All she had left was the 'what if?' What if the battle was intense enough it'd kickstart her powers again? What if they didn't disappear to begin with?
She knew what people thought when they say her and Pietro together; 'wasted potential on a boy.' Was one life worth all the other lives her powers could've saved? She can't help herself but read up on a lot of essays about the trolley problem and the millions of interpretations and solutions. Her life had become one giant philosophical question, one historians and psychologists might throw into textbooks to teach kids about ethics (after her lifetime, she hopes).
