control ↣ joshler ✓

15. HÔPĘF ÜŁ

Josh woke up the morning of October 24th in a hopeful mood.

It was his and Tyler's two year anniversary.

The last week had been just as rocky as the other last few, if not more. It had gotten to the point where the two didn't even talk to one another during car rides or at lunch unless necessary.

But Josh was hopeful today.

A month ago, Josh had made reservations at restaurant he and Tyler both loved. It wasn't too expensive but it was very popular so he wanted to make sure they could assure a table for tonight. Tyler had been with him when he made the reservation and he looked really excited the whole time.

Josh would do anything to get that look back.

Josh got up earlier than usual to get ready because he wanted to stop and get Tyler a few things. He didn't expect anything in return but it was Tyler. He knew he'd been thinking of a present for a long time.

Once Josh said goodbye to his parents and Jim, he made his way to the flower shop to buy Tyler flowers. Tyler's favorite flowers were roses. He always said he knew it was cliché but he was a sucker for clichés.

Josh then stopped at the bakery down the street and bought Tyler a big cupcake. Also his favorite— red velvet with cream cheese frosting. Tyler refused to let anyone compare it to chocolate and even once did research to tell Josh the differences between the two flavors.

And it was just one of the many reasons Josh fell in love with Tyler.

He pulled up to Tyler's house and waited with a smile on his face. Even if things haven't been the best between them, Josh wanted to show Tyler he still loved him.

Tyler walked out of the house with a pissed off look on his face. Anxiety filled Josh's chest. He hoped Tyler didn't yell at him. He wanted today to go good.

Tyler opened the door and got in, slamming it behind him. "Fuck!" He yelled, throwing his bag on the floor.

"What happened?" Josh asked softly.

"My obnoxious ass family that's what."

Josh nodded. "Oh, well," he put a smile on his face. "Do you know what today is?"

Tyler looked at him. "Thursday?"

Josh blinked. "No..."

Tyler raised an eyebrow. "October 24th?"

"Tyler. It's our anniversary."

"Oh," he replied. "It is?"

Josh's heart dropped. Tyler had forgotten. He had forgotten their anniversary.

Josh swallowed. "Uh, yeah," he handed him the bouquet of roses and the box with the cupcake. "Here. Happy Anniversary," he sighed.

Tyler hummed, tossing the cupcake in his backpack where it'll most likely get smashed. "These will die eventually," he told Josh as he opened the door and set the flowers in the driveway. He didn't even take them inside.

Josh watched all of this in disbelief. He let out a scoff and once the door was closed he began driving them to school.

If Tyler noticed Josh's upset mood, he didn't say anything.

Once they got to school, the two got out and began walking in. Josh had to go to his locker so he stopped, twisting his combination in.

"Why are you being so quiet?" Tyler snapped.

Josh ignored him as he grabbed his things out.

"Hello? Are you fucking deaf?"

Josh continued to ignore him, feeling more and more anger build in his chest. He doesn't remember a time when he was this mad.

"Answer me, dammit!"

Josh slammed his locker shut so loud it caused people to turn their head and look at him. Once they noticed nothing interesting was happening, they turned away.

"You forgot our fucking anniversary," Josh seethed.

Tyler rolled his eyes. "So we've been together a year. What's the big deal?"

Josh clenched his fist. He would never think about laying a hand on Tyler but the action helped keep him grounded.

"We've been together two years," he mumbled.

Tyler blinked. "Okay. So?"

Josh wanted to sit in the hallway and cry until his body gave out. He also wanted to punch something. He did neither.

"Do you even want to still be together?" Josh asked Tyler in a calm voice. "You talk about how you want to dump me and how much I annoy you and you make me fucking cry. I held it together because I love you. Or at least I did. You forgot something that meant a lot to us. It meant a lot to me. I'm not so sure you even care about me anymore."

Tyler looked him directly in the eye. "If you feel that way maybe we should break up. If you feel like I'm not trying hard enough and you have expectations set too high maybe you should step back and see how you could be a better boyfriend."

Josh let tears fill his eyes. He let out a humorless laugh. "Find your own ride home. Happy Anniversary," he spat before walking off.

---

Josh was laying in bed, feeling like he was going to burst into tears at any moment.

He was on his phone about to cancel the dinner reservation when he got sidetracked by his Snapchat memories.

He didn't realize just how many he had of him and Tyler.

Josh was currently watching one where Tyler had been painting his nails and his tongue was sticking out of his mouth in concentration. Josh had said his name and Tyler looked up, giggling.

He watched another where Tyler sat on Josh's bed, playing with Jim and laughing loudly.

There was one where Tyler was laying next to Josh and running through his lines from their spring play sophomore year. Josh watched him mess up and let out a tiny noise of frustration before trying again.

Josh sat back and realized how much things have changed in about a month.

Tyler used to be carefree and kind and would dress more on the feminine side. He loved animals and he wouldn't even eat them. He loved to act and nap with Josh and learn the differences between chocolate and red velvet. He was a hopeless romantic and loved romance movies and cried during children's scary movies. He loved to wax Josh and Lina's eyebrows and watch them at the skatepark.

Now? He was mean and rude. He shoved people in the hallway and called them names and made everyone feel like shit about themselves. He didn't talk to Lina anymore and was ruining his relationship with Josh. He seemed emotionless and cold hearted. He wore nothing but a black sweatshirt and black jeans everyday. He had dark bags under his eyes and his hair was never styled. His voice had even dropped considerably. Josh didn't notice how deep it had gotten until he watched old videos.

Josh just missed his boyfriend. The old version of him. He didn't know what the reason was but he wanted to give Tyler one last chance. To see if he could get old Tyler back.

Josh went to his contacts and pressed Tyler's, holding it to his ear.

When Tyler picked up, Josh graced himself for the words he was about to say. "Call me to dump me?" Tyler sneered.

Josh sighed. "No. I wanted to apologize."

"Yeah you should be apologizing. You were an asshole."

"I know," he replied. "Why don't you come over? We can hang out and then go out to dinner. I didn't cancel our reservations."

It was silent for a moment. "Fine. I'll be there soon."

"Okay. Bye. I love you."

"Bye."