Nico is a little. A lonely one. An anorexic one. His only love is his stuffies and rollerskating. He's never had anyone, and no ones had him. He's so close to death he might as well already be dead.
Rowan is a CEO. Of one of the biggest companies in...
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— Warning: this chapter may be a trigger for some readers. Also; picture above is what Nico looks like.
The man next to me groaned. He was staring at his phone. I guess he saw news that he didn't want to hear. I stared into space as I drank my margarita.
"Hey there." The man next to me said, staring at my face.
I blushed and looked down. I guess he did notice me. No one ever does.
"H-hey." I stuttered talking quietly.
My anxiety was high. I didn't want to talk right now at all. I just expected to have a good time with my friends, not be approached by a stranger. What did he think of me? Was he going to make fun of me for being so big? I can't trust him.
"You're cute you know that?" He complimented, putting his fist on his cheek and leaning down on it on the table.
"I'm not- but thank you." I replied, trying to get the conversation to end. My heart rate was increasing and my breathing was getting heavier.
The man chuckled at my remark.
"The names Rowan. Rowan Steer." He introduced, setting down his beer he ordered.
I never liked the taste of beer, it's too bitter and nasty for my liking.
"I-I'm Nico... Nico Grove." I replied. My voice cracking. I almost slapped myself in the face. Now he really thinks I'm a weirdo.
He smiled at me, not taking his eyes off me.
"Wh-why are you st-staring?" I stuttered, my anxiety getting higher by the second. In s few minutes I was going to be having a panic attack.
"I think your cute and I enjoy looking at you. Your so tiny and small. I'd love to make you mine." He whispered, getting close up in my ear.
I could smell the alcohol. It sent shivers down my spine with him being that close. It made me tingly all over and my heart pump faster. Why was I getting excited? All he wants me for is sex then leaving me.
I felt him grab my phone from my pocket. I looked at him and shot my hand out trying to grab it but I was too slow.
"Relax pretty boy- I'm only adding my number so I can text you." He said, attempting to calm me down.
The last thing I wanted was for me and him to talk on a regular basis, he was so tall and muscular. He was scary looking.
He handed me my phone back, and I saw he sent a text to himself. Great. Now I really can't avoid him.
"Just know one day I'll have you shivering from my touch pretty boy." He whispered seductively, getting up and walking away.
I shivered. I would definitely need to beat off after this.
—
Back at home, I had just gotten out of the shower. I stared at myself in the mirror.
Disgusting. Ugly. Fat. Gross. Sick. Weirdo.
I would never be enough. I'll always be the weird quiet kid. I'll never be skinny enough or small enough. No amount of starving will make me pretty. I could feel my heart rate elevating at the anxiety and adrenaline trudged through me.
I fell down to the floor and started sobbing. I'll never be enough. No one will ever want me. My mom and dead probably didn't want me either. It's why they were never there for me. I'm the reason my dad left. It's all my fault.
I sobbed and cried on the bathroom floor. Then I remembered. The razor under the sink.
I opened up the cabinet and threw aside the toilet paper and pads for Lorelei. I found it. My sharp razor for when I get like that.
I slid it across my arm, enjoying every bit of the pain. I watched as blood pooled at the cut and ran down my arm. I cut all across my arm, even on the veins. By the end my whole left arm was covered in cuts and blood.
I felt relieved and like my bad feelings got released. My eyes felt heavy and tired as I sat there letting the blood pool around me.
Then the anxiety hit me. What if I die? I don't want to die. What if I cut too deep and have to get stitches?
What if I cut too much and they won't go away?
I cried again at my thoughts. Nice going Silas. Now I'll die.
I grabbed my phone. I needed to call someone. I knew Lorelei and Tom wouldn't pick up. It's 3 am and they're asleep. Mom - no. Dad- Ha. Funny.
Rowan? Maybe
My thumb hovered over the call button. I decided to man up for once and all him.
It rang for a little but before I heard a soft,
"Pretty boy?"
I breathed in and explained I needed him to come to my apartment cause I was in trouble and might die and he's the only one I could possibly get a hold of. I cut way too deep this time.
I could hear the panic in his voice as he asked for my address and said he would be on his way. I put pants on and sat in my living room, not knowing what to do about the blood dripping down my arm.
I couldn't put a shirt on. He was gonna laugh at me. He'd make fun of me and leave and he'd hope I die. Who would want to see this? This atrocious body is nothing to be proud of.
I heard two knocks at the door, must be Rowan. I shouted for him to come in.,
He stumbled into the room, looking around for me. When he finally caught where I was his eyes and face dropped. He saw the cuts and he hurriedly rushed over to me.
"Did you do this yourself?" He asked, sounding a bit mad.
"...y-yeah." I quietly answered.
"These are way too deep. We're gonna need bandages and medical tape." He explained, examining my arm,
"In the bathroom. Mirror cabinet." I directed, pointing down the hall at the bathroom.
He rushed to the bathroom and came back with the tape and bandages. He softly cleaned up the blood with toilet paper and wrapped it up. I melted at his gentleness. I guess you could call him a soft and gentle giant,
He intricately placed the bandages not too tight but tight enough to stop the bleeding. He made sure it didn't hurt me and that it was doing it's job.
He was so caring for a stranger. Especially me. How could he care this much?
"All better. Now- do you want me to stay? I don't think I'll feel comfortable leaving you alone." He timidly spoke, grabbing hold of my hand.
