Chapter 53

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I didn't even turn to face him, replying shortly, "Enough." I kept walking, going to my room.

I heard footsteps behind me. James came up behind me and clamped his hand down on my shoulder, not hard enough to hurt but enough to stop me.

I turned around, knocking his hand off of me. "You don't get to fucking touch me! You hear?" I was trying to keep my voice from shaking too much, blinking away tears. I couldn't have a melt-down in front of them.

He nodded, putting his hand at his side. "Can we talk about this?"

I took a breath, nodding. Mom needed to understand that it was me or dad at the wedding. She couldn't have both. We walked back into their bedroom where mom was looking at us with wide eyes.

Before mom could begin to talk, I said, "Me or him. Choose."

"Why can't you-"

"Me. Or. Him. Which one? Can't have both."

Mom sighed, putting her head in her hands. "Explain to me why you won't see your father for a few hours?"

"Sounded like Dallas told you all about it." I wasn't happy that Dallas had said anything at all.

"No, he didn't. Ava, if you want to come to the wedding- if you don't want your father to be there- you need to tell me what happened."

I didn't want to talk about dad. I didn't want to think about dad, the memories of living with him making my hands shake and pulse quicken.

Mom and James were both staring at me, tense silence filling the air.

I sighed, quietly saying, "When I see him... I remember everything that happened. If you want me to be there, he can't be there. He won't do shit to me in front of a crowd, but if he catches me alone, who knows what'll happen."

James and mom glanced at each other.

James spoke. "Ava, we want to help your father. We know he has a lot of problems, but we think the right thing to do would be to help him get better."

"And inviting him to your wedding will solve all his problems?" I asked, rolling my eyes. "Wow, aren't you two geniuses?"

"It will show him we care," mom replied. Her voice was soft as if she were explaining something to a child.

"Alright. Then it's settled." I uncrossed my arms and gave them a big smile. "Call me when you want to fuck my life up again." I stepped out of the door, again trying to walk to my room.

I hadn't even gotten a full step in when mom asked, "Where are you going?"

"Back to Tulsa! Tell Dally where I went."

"Ava!" mom screeched. I didn't stop. "Get back here!"

"We'll call your father. We'll tell him not to come, but you have to promise us something," James said, calm as always.

I stopped, turned around, and walked back. "I'm listening."

"You will tell us, right now, what he did to you."

My smile fell. Was it worth it? After a moment's consideration, I decided it was. If they told him not to show, he would be so pissed, not that it affected me anymore. Him not being there would protect Dal and me, and possibly even mom.

"I lived there for about six months after Dallas left. Over that time period, he started drinkin' more, which made him mad all the time." Shrugging, trying to act like telling them this wasn't making panic build back up inside my chest, I added, "I was his way to let that anger out."

"Did he yell at you?" mom asked.

"Yeah, sometimes. Other times he would hit me."

James smiled, a big smile of relief. "Ava," he said, "everyone's parents yell at them. A lot of parents hit their kids, too. Now, I don't agree with it, but his hitting you sometimes doesn't mean he was abusive."

"Calling him an abuser could ruin his life, Ava," mom added, also giving me a small smile. "Don't use the term so lightly."

My stomach sank to the ground. They didn't believe me.

"You-you don't...-" my words were suddenly caught in my throat- "you don't understand. I'm not using the-" I stopped, closing my eyes. I needed to gather my thoughts and convince them I was telling the truth.

"It's okay, Ava," mom cooed. "I'll have a word with him after the wedding."

"What?" I asked, snapping my eyes open. "You told me he wouldn't come 'cause-"

"I'm sorry, Ava, but there are no signs of abuse. I don't want to be rude, but it sounds like you and your brother blew this out of proportion." James shrugged.

I turned around. They wanted proof? They would get it.

I was wearing a nice shirt and a skirt, thankfully not a dress. Then I would have to take the whole damn thing off. I tore off the shirt before they could question it.

There were scars from his belt, from the night Two-Bit had picked me up.

I turned my head. "He did this with his belt one night."

"Why would he ever do this?" mom asked in a small voice.

"Dallas had just gotten out of jail and dad wanted to see him. He figured the only way he would come see dad was if he damn near killed me."

James cleared his throat awkwardly. "I'll go call his hotel and ask them to tell him he is no longer welcome anywhere near any of you."

James pushed past me, rushing to the phone. I guess that was his way of apologizing.

I pulled my shirt back on.

"Ava..." mom began, words escaping her.

"It's fine." I looked at the ground. "I wouldn't believe me, either."

"I'll never let him near you again."

"Yeah," I said dryly, "one of the downsides of livin' in Tulsa is that dad's there." I laughed humorlessly, drained from the night. "I'm goin' to bed."

I walked away, ignoring whatever she said.

As soon as I shut the door to my room, I started to cry.

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