Player 2

Suffocated

Victims: Daisy, Luigi, Toad, Toadette, Mona, Wario, Bowser, Kamek, Pauline, Boo, DK, Bowser JR, Diddy, Birdo, Yoshi

Suspects: Mario, Waluigi, Peach, Rosalina, Ludwig, Lemmy, Wendy, Roy, Morton, Iggy, Larry, Dixie, Koopa

Player 2 roughly held Wendy O'Koopa's face into her pillow whilst her arms flailed out just as they had the day before when she sealed her fate by announcing her death wish in front of Player 2. How stupid could somebody be to announce they wanted to die in front of a murderer? To be fair, the girl had no idea that the murderer was there, but still. 

Wendy's limbs fell, lifeless, at her sides. Player 2 stepped back, distastefully. They could have done better. But it would have to do. They turned Wendy over and silently left the room, walking back to their room as ghost-like as they left it. Player 2 was always silent. No one would ever catch them. 

Suffocation was one of the longer murder methods. It often ended in getting injured by your victim if you weren't as experienced as Player 2 was. Player 2 had suffered their fair share of scratches in their early days of killing, no murderer escaped a killing spree unscathed. The first Toad they'd stabbed had fought like the Devil, kicking and scratching at Player 2 as they plunged the knife into their body. Those were the days when Player 2 wasn't known as Player 2. They were 'the monster' back then. They'd decided to carve their name into a corpse to make themselves known to the townsfolk. Of course, their victims in this place hadn't known their name. Player 2 was just 'the murderer' to them. Maybe they should announce their identity in an extravagant way. Maybe was a key word in being a murderer. Maybe this maybe that. Maybe fuck every aspect of careful planning and just let the animal inside them roam free instead of the calculated, quiet, planning Player 2. Maybe Player 2 could be the monster they were painted as.

"Stop fucking drinking at 8am, dude." Lemmy muttered as he brushed past Iggy, who was sitting against the wall, a bottle at his side.

"It's not alcohol, it's water. I've been resorted to imagining that this is alcohol...I fucking wish it was but wishes aren't fucking real." the green-haired koopaling said, taking a long sip out of the water-filled whisky bottle. If he thought hard enough, he could convince his brain that it tasted of whisky.

"That's just sad." Lemmy said, almost laughing at his brother's desperation for liquor. Lemmy didn't need alcohol to numb his pain, the desperation of others did that for him. He was a sadistic person in grim circumstances, it was just part of his cruel side. 

"Everything is sad." Iggy murmured, slumping further against the wall like a deflated balloon.

"It's not sad if you pretend." Lemmy stated, sauntering off in the direction of Wendy's room to check on her. She was usually lurking around in various places, moaning about how she wanted to die and that everything had gone to shit. She was a pain. Lemmy heard Iggy staggering after him, he was probably bored of sitting there alone and pretending that he hadn't ran out of liquor. 

Lemmy pushed open the door and instantly knew Wendy was dead. The room was eerily cold and had a strange aura lingering in it. He shivered. It was scarier seeing peaceful corpses than bloodied, distorted ones. Iggy let out a long whistle behind him.

"Y'know, I guess they are fucking real after all." Iggy said, leaning against the door frame.

"Guess they are...I guess they fucking are." Lemmy murmured, another weight having been added to his shoulders.

"Why does everyone somehow have brought alcohol to this place? Why smuggle beer to a conference that you've been invited to by the Board of Governors?" Rosalina asked Waluigi as she kicked a stray beer can aside as they walked through the corridors to the grand library they had claimed as their own.

"Because not everyone is as respectable of an individual such as yourself, Princess." he replied, thinking back to the moment where he, Wario and Mona shoved whisky into a bag and smuggled it in. 

"Surely it's just common courtesy to keep things like that out of government sight." she said, hating that she sounded so entitled and snooty. She tried to keep her royalty traits out of conversation but sometimes she couldn't help herself.

"I think you forget that you're talking to me, a 'reformed' criminal. Some people just say fuck all to whatever bullshit the governors try pulling." he said, rolling his eyes. Rosalina was a smart woman but sometimes, he couldn't take her model citizenship seriously. They were an unlikely pair, a crook and a queen, but they made it work with a balance of sarcasm and logic. Sometimes their backgrounds clashed and created a debate of the two sides of society, the good and the bad, but otherwise, they were fine.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry. Jesus, I sounded so uptight. I'm sorry." she said, embarrassed that she had forgotten her detective partner's background. If it was someone like Peach that she was talking to, it would be a normal conversation. Princesses were always slightly snooty, even the kindest and sweetest of princesses. It was practically a requirement. 

"Stop apologising, Rosa." he said, rolling his eyes as his lips turned up at the corners. He was amused.

"Don't laugh at me." she giggled, jokingly elbowing him in the side.

"How can I not laugh? Anyways, princess, which one of our dear friends was fucking murdered today?" he asked, sliding into a wooden chair in the grand library. Rosalina chose a lether armchair as her seat and began to recall what she had found.

"Wendy was discovered at around 8:20AM by Lemmy and Iggy. She was suffocated. That's all we have." she recounted, crossing her legs over as she thought back to the moment Lemmy pulled her aside and gave her the details of the murder. The mohawk-sporting koopaling had seemed unfazed and collected as he described the crime scene to her. Suspicious, but she guessed that he had just given up on the waterworks at this point. She understood.

"Y'know, we have absolutely nothing to go off in this case. Absolutely nothing. Everything we've figured out applies to everybody, there's 12 of us left and every day someone dies. Maybe you're a murderer. Maybe I'm a murderer. Maybe I'm dreaming and none of this is real and I'm going to wake up and think 'Wow, that was a weird dream' before going back to normal life." he said, drawing his cap low over his eyes and sighing. 

"Maybe there's one person where something we haven't figured out yet applies to them that doesn't apply to anyone else. Let's run through the remainder of us and compare the profiles to what we've gathered about our murderer." she said.

"Good theory. So, we've gathered that our killer is quiet, strong, fast, ruthless, evil, really good at acting, fooling us all, making us look stupid, could possibly be listening to this entire conversation, can fit in a vent, can drag a sledgehammer, knows how to successfully murder somebody whilst making no noise whatsoever, really fucking smart, and that's all we have." he listed, glancing up at the vent for a split second.

"Now let's compare this profile with everyone here. First, Mario. He's pretty quiet when he wants to be, definitely strong, pretty fast, kind of ruthless, not sure about evil, can act, can fit in a vent, not so sure about being smart." she said, creating a picture of Mario in her head. He wouldn't do these things. Or would he? 

"We're never going to figure out who it is by doing this. We have to focus on motive. Mario has a motive, he was pressured by literally everybody to save the world several hundred fucking times and hates the bad guys because of it." Waluigi explained, leaning forward in his chair.

The pair discussed the motives of everybody for over an hour until they came to their own motives.

"I have a motive...Oh my God." Rosalina said, pushing her blonde hair back as she said the truth out loud.

"We all have a motive, princess. I know for a fact that I sure do." Waluigi said, his mind flashing to a picture of the person that he would shoot dead in a heartbeat.

Hint: It could all be an act

Hint for hint: some hints are red herrings just to throw you off because I'm a nice person uwu