What If Chandler Bing Didn't Exist...? [F.R.I.E.N.D.S]

Chapter Fifteen: Crazily, We Need Advice

Seriously, just give Jo the massage, this is literally the easiest quiz I have to do. I mean the W.E.N.U.S. was so much harder. "Alright. You love to massage people, and give them away free sometimes… you love to play the guitar, and you have a favourite song that you love to play."

"Smelly Cat…" We both said at the same time. She gave me a smile and I returned the favour.

***

We walked inside and I started looking around. It did look sorta like her apartment but different. Obviously.

"So, um, Pheebs, where's your grandmother these days?" I asked her. Now the only reason I asked her was because apparently her grandmother made the best homemade cookies. Oh wait… but then we found out that they were Nestle Toll House cookies. Or as she pronounced it, Neslay Tou-l-ow-sah.

"My grandmother died 5 years ago." I stopped dead in my tracks. Why did I say that? I knew that… I was "psychic"

"But you found your real dad right? Remember that ceremony you went to and then you met him there?"

"What? No, my father left me.. And I had no ceremony for my grandmother, it was just me." What? Were we the people that told her to have a ceremony? And so she was left by herself? Okay, so I guess that's another thing that I need to get around to. Finding Phoebe's dad. How in the world is that supposed to happen??

"Alright Joey, sit here and then lay down slowly…" Phoebe was talking slowly and calmly, pointing to a type of bed that you would find in the doctor's room. So maybe they use the same type of thing in a massage place.

"We don't necessarily massage guests here, but this is an exception." She looked at me uncertainly. "And also because this man seems to be psychic."

I did a sort of agreeing nod, knowing that it wasn't the truth. Joey went underneath the sheets and was faced down.

"This won't hurt would it?" I heard Joey ask. How Joey survived without me, I'll never know. Phoebe gave him a little giggle or a chuckle and I guess Phoebe thought it was a joke, while Joey did not.

While Phoebe was massaging Joey, I decided to talk to Ross, about how Phoebe could help him with his relationship with Rachel.

"Psst. Ross!" I whispered under my breath.

He was staring off into the open space, and I finally got his attention. "Yeah?"

"Look, I know you only talked to her and just met her now, but I need you to do me a huge favour and go talk to her about your relationship with Rachel."

"What? No! I've done you heaps of favours already! Like I haven't done enough for you." Ross backed away with disgust.

"Ross. Ross. Ross." He was staring at the open air again and I was clicking my fingers to get his attention.

"What?" I sighed. I don't get why he does not see that I'm doing what's best for him…

"Ross, I know you want Rachel, you should be with Rachel, you belong with Rachel." How much more clearer can this get?

"Really?" It was almost in a soft whisper, Ross still not believing it.

"No, I was saying this to make you feel upset." I replied sarcastically. He gave me a look with pursed lips which I think means that he was not satisfied with my reply. "Ross, I'm tellin' ya. You and Rachel, together, perfect match." I looked down and shook my head just a little. "Just like me and Monica…" I said that under my breath, hoping that no one heard me.

Ross, still looking a little upset and concerned at the same time.  "Fine, but how would she help?"

With a lot of things, I said in my mind. "Just ask, if I had a soulmate, and a wife. Who should I choose?"