Cheater

Idiot

"Hello?" My voice sounded shakier than I'd intended it to so I instinctively cleared my throat.
"Armin, I'm so glad you answered" Eren soon chimed in so obviously sounding relived he could finally explain himself to me. But I had other things on my mind, things that his husky voice added fuel to.
"Now isn't really the best time for me" I replied hoping he wouldn't ask questions and just understand but that never happens with Eren
"No I don't care I have to speak to you" he insisted, of course he did.
"No?" I reiterated, sighing. Giving up any hope of continuing what I'd started.
"Do you mind if I come over?" His question took me by surprise and I hesitated
"Uh, Aren't you at college?"
"No my lesson got cancelled, so can I?" I thought about it realistically. Eventually I was going to have to see him so I may as well get it out of the way as I couldn't think of a reasonable excuse that he would believe that quickly anyway.
"Okay fine" I gave in
"Good, I'm outside" I could hear the smile dancing on his lips through his voice.
"Of course you are" I let out a small laugh, forgetting the situation for a minute. He was such an idiot. I went to stand up but was soon stopped by a small throb in my underwear. Shit! it hadn't gone away yet. Think Armin, think.
"Um my mum is downstairs and she thinks I'm off sick so she won't let you in so you're gonna have to come though my window okay?" good enough I suppose at least I won't have to walk around so this way I can hide my bottom half under my blankets. Eren chuckled
"Just like old times then"
"Yeah" I replied in a voice much quieter than the last one I'd used as the sudden mention of 'old times' made me remember that things weren't like that anymore. I walked over to my bedroom window swinging it as far open as it would go and looked down, greeted by a smiling Eren that didn't help the situation in my pants. I gave a small smile back hanging up the phone and watched him jump up onto the garden bin then onto the wooden bars up the side of my wall then I retreated back to my bed before he got too close. His hands gripped my windowsill and he lifted himself up his arms flexing showing his muscles which I gulped at the sight of.
"Okay don't help" he joked.
"Sorry" I said quietly making his face drop as he too remembered the situation. He pulled the window closed and gently sat at the opposite end of the bed to me. This whole time I'd been distracted thinking about something else that I'd actually forgotten what was going on. Sat in front of me is the boy I'm in love with the boy who doesn't feel the same, and even worse than that he's in a relationship with a girl!
"Hey" Erens voice woke me from my thoughts and I looked him the the eyes, I was going to say hi back but he continued.
"Remember that one time when we were kids and we were at the park with Mikasa?" I gave him a puzzled look, what was he saying?
"We were all playing and then mikasa asked me who I loved more her or you, we were only little, maybe 7? so I confidently said you not thinking about her feelings. I think my exact words were 'Armin of course! He's my best friend.'" He laughed at his childish words and I gave a small smile letting him know I was okay hearing this. I wanted to ask what his point was but I decided to let him finish before I ask anything.
"Well obviously that upset her and she burst out crying and I was confused as I'd just answered her question, but you were so concerned and comforted her and told me I was stupid for hurting a girls feelings like that. As I've got older I've always carried your words with me, I didn't want to upset her like that again. I didn't want you to think I was stupid. It was just the truth" He averted his gaze and looked down at his hands intertwined in his lap.
"It still is" He whispered. I was taken aback by the story he'd just told me. Did I even remember that? I thought back to that day. Vaguely the memory lingered

"Hey Eeeren! Who do you love the most, me or Armin!?" Mikasa exclaimed, laughing like any shy child would after asking such a thing to a boy they liked. I looked up smiling at him waiting for his answer. I didn't give any thought to what he was going to say before he blurted out
"Armin of course! He's my best friend in the whole world" he threw his arms around me and laughed not taking a second to notice the raven haired girls face drop. The smile had faded away and her eyes overwhelmed with tears and soon sobs were escaping, I pulled out of Erens embrace and lunged forward towards our friend.
"Eren you idiot! You don't hurt a girls feelings like that!" I wrapped my arms around her letting her cry on my shoulder when suddenly Eren started laughing.
"What's so funny!" I asked confused as to what he found funny.
"I'm sorry Mikasa, I won't ever hurt your feelings like that again." He replied once he stopped laughing holding his hand out for her to grab. She took it and he pulled her up off the floor into a hug. I just stood there watching.

"I remember that" I said in response but that was all I could say. He paused staying silent waiting for me to say more but nothing came out. I have nothing to say. Was I overreacting? He was only being honest with me in the car yesterday even if that honesty has caused me so much pain. Tears pricked in the corners of my eyes. Was I being selfish? What happened to the Armin from back then, who wanted to protect Mikasa and stuck up for her. Now I make Eren cheat on her. Maybe I really am weak. But why do I not care? I want to be selfish, I deserve love just as much as Mikasa does.
I finally found the words I wanted to say.
"What about my feelings?" I said louder than my previous statement. His head was quick to rise back up to my sudden words . I blinked my tears away.
"They matter to me just as much" He tried his best to sound convincing after all he came here for me to forgive him not to have more of an argument.
"Why are you with her then?" I questioned the older brunette. I needed to know why he chose her, why he still choses her over me every time. He looked bewildered, a question he didn't plan on getting asked let alone answering. His words from last night sounded through my head 'I love her... okay?' There was my answer, why did I even bother to ask such an agonising thing when he had already given me his answer.
"I just am" He eventually said. I'd been too lost in my head to realise the silence that had fallen. Why bother? I can't be bothered anymore, if he wants her then fine. I won't be used like this anymore. I need to move on.
"You really are an idiot" I lowered my voice and smiled. He took this as a que to grab my hands and pull me forward so we met in the middle. He wrapped his long arms around me something I normally enjoy every second of but this time I was just enduring it. He pushed me down on the bed and repositioned himself so his legs were either side of me, normally I would be swooning at his actions but not this time.
"What are you doing?" I questioned genuinely wanting to know what was going through that idiotic head of his.
"Well I was going to give you an I'm sorry kiss" he stated honestly. I was slightly taken aback and no matter how much I wanted to I couldn't stop the blush from rising on my cheeks. He dipped his head forward his lips brushing against mine ever so slightly, I couldn't find the will power to deny it so I gave in and let it happen. He finally planted his lips firmly on mine and I kissed back. He pulled away using his arms to prop himself up, staring into my eyes he stated
"God you're beautiful" my face was begging to smile, my body begging to pull him in closer and my lips pleading for another kiss. But for some reason my mind said no. I tired to ignore it lifting my arms and placing them around his hips, my action encouraged him to bring his head down and rested his forehead on mine; it was a small gesture but it sent a swarm of butterflies to my stomach and a soft blush to my cheeks. But I couldn't ignore it, no matter how much I wanted to.
"You have a girlfriend" I whispered, it was practically inaudible and god I wished it had been. Eren looked shocked and sat up, still with me in between his legs. He visibly gulped and the action sent a shiver down my spine.
"She's not here now is she?" A smirk danced on his lips and I swallowed down my desire and gave him a look of disappointment. I hesitated before my next sentence
"I - I'd like to think if I was with you you'd have more respect for me" A look of shame filled his face and he climbed off me. Eren sighed.
"I better go"
"Yeah I think you better" I replied, breaking my own heart all over again.
Without another word he climbed out the window and was gone. And yet again, I was alone nursing my battered and bruised heart.

-

Wow 2 updates within a month *shook* I hope you enjoyed this chapter!