Love Myself | #ENDviolence

sexual violence

I would like to give a little disclaimer.

I am fully aware of the sensitivity of this topic, and how it should be approached with complete discretion. Therefore, I don't intend to discuss it with unnecessary detail. I'm not familiar with the topic personally unlike the other forms of violence, so I don't prefer to discuss something I haven't experienced nor have enough information about. It is undeniable that the rest of violence forms are just as important as sexual violence, but the only difference is that it's slightly more mature, and should only be analyzed by the right and well-informed people.

I'll only lay out the stats and the reports for you. And I'll do my best to not to sound ignorant or insensitive. Please forgive me for any incompetence.

I believe the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the terms 'sexual violence' and 'sexual abuse' is a woman getting raped by a stranger, which isn't completely wrong, but both terms are much more inclusive. Acts of sexual violence can range from forced physical contact to unwanted exposure to sexual language and images. Yes, being forced to constantly receive inappropriate images is a form of sexual violence. A rather less direct one but it's still included. Regardless of the kind, all of them are intrusive and traumatizing.

It's not always a stranger. Violence can wear a familiar face.

Data from 28 countries indicate that 9 in 10 adolescent girls who have experienced forced sex report being victimized by someone known to them. There are also multiple reports of women that have been sexually abused by their partners.

For children, school classmates and friends are the most common culprits of sexual abuse against both young boys and girls. In a survey conducted in Mexico, in 2013, 7% of boys and 5% of girls in upper secondary school reported that they had experienced sexual insults from their classmates at school during the past 12 months, and 4% of boys and 3% of girls had been forced into sexual behavior.

In the United States, a 2011 online survey of students in grades 7 to 12 revealed that nearly half reported having experienced some form of sexual harassment: in-person or via electronic means both committed by people they knew through school. Teachers and school employees are some examples.

What all of this victims have in common is that they don't usually seek help. They keep it a secret out of reasons like shame, guilt, confusion or lack of people around them that are willing to help.

There's nothing shameful about trying to seek help and ensuring that your abuser gets the proper punishment. People would always be willing to help, maybe not those you know, but you shouldn't ever stop asking people to aid you. A police officer, a friend, or even a casual coworker that you only speak to during lunch: They would all be willing to help.

Speaking of help, this is actually the whole purpose of this book. I've started this book in an attempt to help some of the courageous people (even a person or two) that are unfortunately suffering out there. I also want to spread awareness about sensitive topics that people tend to refrain from addressing. They consider some of them as taboo, like sexual abuse, and they neglect the rest for simply not having experienced them. And that shouldn't be the case.

You don't have to undergo the same circumstances someone experienced in order to feel compassionate or empathetic with them. You could have the same amount of empathy as a person who went through similar things by only listening to their story and offering your time and understanding. That's how you help even when you can't. And I'll discuss in the next chapter how you could do that.