As we entered through a garden gate, the king turned to us, held up a hand, and said, "I feel that I should tell you both that you are... rather ripe."
"Yeah? Well, how about you call me when someone invents the shower, eh?" Derek said. "You had to start with nuclear weapons, didn't you? It couldn't have been indoor plumbing, or maybe electricity, eh?"
"It wasn't my fault," the king said. "The queen told me to give the wise men something difficult to work on."
"Oh, and I suppose you do everything your wife tells you?" Derek asked.
The king peered at Derek for a moment and said, "You're not married, are you?"
"Can we get on with this?" I asked.
"Right, let's go then," the king said and then turned to continue up the path that led through a beautiful garden to a modest farmhouse constructed from large river stones.
The king marched up to the ornate wooden door of the house and knocked. Some time passed, and the king was about to knock again when the door creaked open.
There stood a silver-haired older woman with a striking resemblance to the queen, and when she looked up at the king she said, "Barry! Come in, come in!"
"Uh," the king began, looking toward Derek and me, "I think perhaps these two... Oh, this is Derek and Thomas by the way. Umm, they could use a bit of a wash first."
"Well," she said, taking in our appearance, "bring them in. They can use the tub--"
The king interrupted her politely with, "Sorry, but do you still have the horse trough out back? I was thinking that might be a better choice..."
"Oh. Yes, dear, it's around behind the barn. You can take them out there and I will bring some soap and a change of clothes for them." She then paused for a moment, clearly in thought before saying, "I'm afraid I got rid of all of my husband's clothes recently, but I'll find something."
Derek held up his duffle bags and said, "Don't mind me, ma'am, I have my own change of clothes."
"All right, dear, I'll be out in a bit," she said and then closed the door as we went around the house.
"Horse trough, Barry?" Derek asked.
"Muriel is a sweet woman," the king said. "I will not have you trod your mucky feet through her home and soil her tub after where you two have been. You'll use the trough and be glad of it afterward. We all will."
YOU ARE READING
The Ill-mannered Door (humorous sci-fi)
Science FictionWhat would you do if you woke to find a door in your room? No, not an ordinary, well-behaved door that stays in the wall where it belongs, but one standing near the side of your bed that leads to another world. That is precisely what happens to Thom...
