Pure

21

-Caterina

She's been acting strange. I don't know how to describe it, but it's almost like she's uncomfortable. I've never seen her uncomfortable before. Nervous? Yes a little. Upset? Definitely. Worried? Even more so. But uncomfortable? Nope, that's new.
Why would she be uncomfortable though, I don't understand. As far as I can tell, nothing has changed. I haven't done anything extraordinarily horrible in the last few days. I haven't said anything obnoxiously nasty either. Why is she suddenly turning this into a game of cat-chase-mouse where she is trying to avoid me, not making eye contact, and keeping conversations to a limit? It's so unlike her. Usually it's the other way around. I have been avoiding and ignoring her almost the entire time I've been here. And all through my appalling and repulsive behaviour, she couldn't keep her mouth shut as much as I wanted her to.
And now? For the life of me I really can't think of anything I've done to make her almost fearful of me. I haven't even gotten drunk so that I could've done something that I don't remember. I literally have even been more civil then I usually am, and it seems to be freaking her out. Maybe that makes sense though. Maybe because I'm being so weirdly nice, she's scared. Cause she's never seen me like this so she doesn't know what to make of it. But she's not one to back away though. She'd be one to face the challenge and explore on it. Enjoy every minute I'm not a bitch and do her best to keep it that way. So then why, oh why, is she acting so extremely strange?
I don't like it. It's kinda creeping me out a little. And I'm not sure what to do with it. Do I also start acting weird now? Or do I keep doing what I'm doing? Or do I go on to being an even bigger bitch then I have been until now?
What the fuck do I do?

It's like this whole relationship in general is just so messed up. She dragged me off the street, started taking care of me like most mothers would and just genuinely loves me. But we haven't been able to have even five seconds of peace. Every time things seem to finally calm down and get some sort of rhythm to it, something happens and blows it all up. It's just one big very wavy storm. And then you think the waves calm down for a day or two, but they're actually preparing you for the very big wave that's just growing bigger the closer it comes, ready to drown you. I mean, I might be exaggerating a little, it really hasn't been deadly until now. But it's just frustrating that things can't just keep calm for more then a few days before something else strange happens.

"Where did you say you were from again?" Demi asks out of the blue, on our way home from school.

"Couple towns over," I mumble. Couple towns, my ass. More like couple states, I'm in pretty good shape, I'm a fast walker. Especially when I want to be.

"You're not really though, are you?" She glances my way.

"Why do you even wanna know?" I don't answer her question since it seems she anyway already knows.

"Just wondering," she shrugs.

"Are you trying to look for my family or something?" It so wouldn't surprise me. "Cause I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't. I still have all their numbers and their addresses, I can get myself back there if I'd want to. I don't need help with that."

She takes a few minutes to answer. "Do you ever regret having ran away? Do you wish you wouldn't have?"

"If your question is if I wish I was still surrounded by my family, then yes, I do," I say honestly. "But if you're asking if I think I made the wrong decision, then no. I'm confident that I did the right thing, as much as I hate it."

"What would you do if, say someone of your family found you?" She asks.

"They would never come here, they have nothing to look for. Why do you think I came in this direction?"