Chapter 47

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Chapter 47: The Agreement

"It's happening today. I'm going to talk to him today, Dipi." I thought to my sister, using the mind link as I began to quickly change my clothes. "Gosh, why hadn't I worn a cuter outfit today? I have to be looking sexy as hell if he decides to break up with me."

"Don't think like that Sebastian." Dipi complained, chastising me for my negativity. "What did I tell you about confidence?"

I sighed heavily, stopping my frantic changing to turn to the mirror.

"I am handsome, I am confident, I am amazing, I am deserving of love." I recited in my head and aloud with conviction, Dipi saying a satisfied "good" in her head.

After our conversation a couple of days ago, Dipi gave me a two-page list of affirmations that I was supposed to say as often as I could, especially when I thought or said something bad about myself and in front of a mirror whenever possible.

Dipi said that she saw research on how it helped self-esteem and other things so it was my new daily activity. I wouldn't tell Dipi, but I did feel more confident and proud of my appearance after I started.

But like I said, Dipi never finds out.

I went back to changing my outfit, putting on my best "hot while still casual" outfit before I met Dean today. He had wanted us to meet at his house again, but after what happened last time I thought it was a better idea for us to go to the waterfall.

Two days ago he had texted me, admitting that he hadn't responded because he was waiting for me to let him know when I wanted to talk again. But, he got a little impatient and messaged me to let me know that,

"Any time you want to talk. I'll be waiting by the phone."

That kicked me into high gear to make my decision and have the confidence to tell him without getting angry or upset. So, every second I wasn't doing school or speaking with friends, I was planning out what I would do, what I would say, and how I would express my emotions to Dean properly. Like a mature adult.

Dipi was with me all the way --partly because she is my sister and closest friend but also because I forced since I wouldn't tell anyone else-- and helped me through it all. Now it was the day that I had set and I felt so nervous.

"Why should I be feeling this nervous?" I asked Dipi, feeling confused and rushed as I adjusted my clothes. "This guy is my boyfriend, before that my friend. I have spoken to him millions of times. At this point, I'm like a veteran at talking to him."

"It is totally normal for you to be feeling about this. This is kind of a big deal." Dipi told me, only increasing my nerves more.

"You know, telling me that it is a big deal is not going to help me feel better about going and doing this, Dipi." I deadpanned, the blank drawl clear in my voice.

"Oops, sorry." She chuckled, only earning an eye roll from me. I laughed dryly.

"So much for being amazing at giving advice Dipi." Sarcastically I joked, teasing her as a distraction. "You've broken your streak."

Dipi scoffed through the link as I moved out of the bathroom, heading towards the joint closet to grab my shoes and a jacket. Dipi started to go on about how great her advice is as Nick and Warlo noticed me from their beds.

"Hey, where are you going all dressed up?" Warlo asked, teasing me and my outfit a bit.

Well, I guess this is a bit less casual than I'd planned. I thought, momentarily questioning my outfit choice before continuing on.

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