𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞 | woosan

break up (@)

warnings: (@) angst

"let's break up"

san doesn't look up from his water cup, blinking a few times, intaking every part of his words before he nods.

"alright," he agreed, right off the bat.

wooyoung stiffened.

the room went completely silent. when san didn't hear any response from wooyoung, he looked up at him.

his eyes were droopy and wide, staring at him in disbelief despite the fact that he was the one who said it.
those easy yet heart breaking words.

san slowly looks up at the younger from his desk.

there are countless tears welled up between the edges of wooyoung's eyes, trickling to hit the solid table, but refusing to let any of them fall knowing that his frequent crying has always annoyed him.

those words he said, this act he showcased, it was suppose to be a simple test, yet san could tell he didn't expect him to go through with it as fast.

this was to make him hold onto him, their spark and fix the relationship they both shared.

wooyoung couldn't lie, he was engulfed in pain, drowning in his own sorrows as the clock ticked.

and some of him was even angry but could san blame him? not at all. wooyoung's hands clenched into fists, biting his tongue to resist the pain.

"so, it's just like that?" the younger said, with clear venom dripping out of his mouth.
"that's just it-"

"just like that," san interrupts him, staring at the younger's droopy eyes.

san could see his tough complexion start to collapse.

from wooyoung's point of view, he scans san's complexion, searching hungrily for any signs of pain, regret, anything. but he sees none.

san has always been this way.

wooyoung's gaze drops down to the table, unable to contain the weight of his stares burning holes at his pupils.

san on the other hand, was completely relieved of the younger's gesture. he composes himself better when he's not looking at him as if the universe moves around him.

to be honest, it scared san, mainly because he didn't know how far wooyoung would go for him, when he would only do the bare minimum for him after all this time.

"i mean, do you even-"
"actually let me rephrase that, d-did you even love me at all this entire time?" wooyoung's voice cracked, tears threatning to spill.

"sometimes," san says. "i loved you sometimes."
he said, slowly tapping his fingers on the table.

yet wooyoung loved san so much to the point san felt burdened by not loving him back as he loved him.

the guilt of it drove him mad.

"im sorry, but you know i'm not capable wooyoung," san explained, cringing at how idiotic and immature he sounded.

but in reality of it all, this was san's persona.
being completely unable to take what's given to him because his emotional growth as a child had always been distorted since he was a kid.

he had no parents of his own, they had died in a car accident when he was young. ever since then, he was forced to live in an orphanage where acts of love were basically prohibited.

even after escaping such a life, meeting him, and even becoming such an important figure in the industry,
san still let his past eat him alive everyday.

"listen wooyoung."
he gestures at him, pointing at his right ear.

"you simply just deserve so much better, and i think we both clearly know that i'm not better."

"i know i deserve better." wooyoung spits out, tightening his fists.

"and you know what i hate the most san," he looks up at him, "that it just so happens to be you whom i happen to be in love with."

"well, i'm sorry you feel that way." san says.

it was wooyoung who broke up with san, but in the end it was san whom cut the string that desperately held them both.

"you're going to find somebody who loves you more than you love them alright." san tries to explain.

"t-that person could be yo-" san interrupts him again, "sorry but that person isn't going to be me woo," his words shot a pang at the younger's heart, his body growing weaker.

the nausea he felt swirled unrestrained in his empty stomach. his head swam with half-formed regrets. his heart felt as if his blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat. his melancholic mood hung over him like a black cloud, raining his personal sorrow down on him everytime san would open his mouth to speak.

"and if you got that entirely clear in your mind, then i'll be taking my leave," san felt like he was suffocating.
he slowly got up from his chair, picking up his blazer and putting it on.

san looks up at him one more time,
"it was fun, take care."

san watched wooyoung avert his gaze from him, trying his best to not see him walk past him.

wooyoung focused on the black tiles on the floor, afraid of san seeing his tears trickle on the ground.

he was in denial, he didn't want to accept what was happening. he simply wasn't ready to let go, not yet, not now, not ever. he felt like fainting, this was too much for him.

"you'll be fine," san tells him before walking away and closing the door behind him.

wooyoung stood there, fists on the table, staring at the emptied out water cup. watching tear after tear hit the table. he couldn't hold it in.

he suddenly broke down into endless sobs and cries of pain. gasping for air, clutching his aching heart. his knuckles turning white from him desperately trying to keep his own composure.

"it isn't fair," he chokes up his sobs, breathing in slowly, wiping his tears. he knew his last conversation with san would haunt him, taunt him, and replay through his days like an echo.

he turned around staring out at the window, walking towards it and placing his hand over it and leaning his forehead against the glass.

he closed his eyes tightly, he was unable to witness everything around him going about as usual.
i mean how could it when his world had just crumbled?

he sniffles, letting out a shaky sigh detaching himself from the window as he proceeds to leave.