People are afraid of the dark and what lurks in it. They are afraid of her as well.
And yet, Dazai Osamu-- a man drowning in the same sea of shadows that had long since become her home-- was the first to tell her that she belonged to the light.
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do i still taste of war?
can you still feel the battles on my skin?
am i still rebuilding
bone by fragile bone?
--what does forgiveness taste like? || r.n.
•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
Dazai is an impeccable actor, and it's nearly impossible for most to pick up on when he's doing it because he's practically always pretending, but (Y/n) knows the man well enough to notice the smile that is just a little too tight and the extra spring he pushes into his step.
He's worried, she realizes even as she smiles at his antics while she greets the people currently present at the Armed Detective Agency. They watch her curiously, almost as if they're trying to figure out who she is to Dazai, or possibly how she is so calm about putting up with him for the day as requested by the Agency's President.
Perhaps she is about to be tested? She wonders why that bothers Dazai then, and she thinks to ask him but decides against it because she knows it will do no good.
For how close she had once been to him, Dazai had never entirely revealed his intentions or worries even to her. She knew more than most would ever come close to finding out, but never the whole story.
As they walk by each other's side under the lazy October sun, she considers the smile on his face and asks herself if, over time, Dazai has forgotten how to be vulnerable. It would explain why he can't quite seem to stop drowning in his own darkness even if he has slowed it down considerably.
"It must've been hard, right?" she asks, and he turns to her with cautious inquisitiveness. "After you left." She doesn't add "When you were alone" because her time with Anonymous and the contact with normal people has taught her to be more delicate with sensitive topics, but she knows that even unsaid, he understands and his smile drops for a second before he pulls it back up like a mask he isn't used to not wearing.
