𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓷 𝓸𝓯 𝓓𝓪𝓻𝓴𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼 | 𝘥𝘢𝘻𝘢𝘪 𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘶

𝒱𝐼. 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒩𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

I guess

we are both angels

in each other's stories

and

demons

in our own context.

-Letters to My Bestie || Afreen Razvi

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

When (Y/n) got home, Dazai was waiting outside, leaning back against her door with closed eyes and drooping shoulders.

"Dazai?" She stopped a small distance away, raising her eyebrows when he turned to her with hollow eyes and a complete lack of expression. "You could've called me."

He shrugged, stepping aside to let her unlock the door. "I figured I'd wait for you."

Frowning, she let him in before shutting the door and turning to face the boy who was more subdued than usual. "Is something wrong?" she asked carefully, already knowing something was bothering her partner but unsure of how to broach the subject.

The brunet paused, turning to her from where he stood in the doorway to her bedroom, coat already shrugged off and hanging limply over his arm. "Odasaku and I met Ango today," he relayed, eyes not quite meeting hers.

She hummed, approaching him until they were stood inches apart, slowly taking his coat away and expertly tossing it onto the sofa a few feet away before facing him once again. "And?" she prompted.

Dazai sighed, eye closing again as he dropped his head onto her shoulder, winding his arms around her figure and letting her hold up his weight. "Why is it that everything I don't want to lose is taken away from me?" he murmured into the fabric of her shirt, warmth breath seeping through the material and hitting her skin.

(Y/n) stilled, her fingers halting their movements in combing through his hair as she considered his words cautiously and debated a response. "I don't know," she whispered back at last, exhaling slowly when Dazai only wordlessly pulled her closer.

"Are we bad people, Nightshade?" he asked next. "Is this my punishment?"

The question tugged at something in her gut, spreading coldness through her core, and dousing her in something unpleasant because how was she supposed to admit that maybe he was right? She swallowed thickly. "We aren't the best of people out there, Dazai," she began slowly, stating the obvious, "and I don't know if that makes us deserving of punishment. I want to say it doesn't. I want to tell you that we have someplace good waiting for us when we decide to look for it, but I don't know."

Her voice cracked and she fell silent, taking in a shuddering breath and leaning into him. Dazai was oddly cold, and her skin felt too hot, but between the both of them, maybe they could manage to find a balance that worked for them.

"Will I end up losing you, too, Nightshade?" he mused, his voice far away and low, and she could tell he was smiling sadly, and if it broke her heart, she didn't say anything.

Instead she shifted so he would raise his head, resting her fingertips against his cheeks and pressing the ghost of a kiss to his lips, lingering in his space for just a moment longer before moving to look back at him, smiling the same broken smile as him. "I really hope not," she admitted, like it were merely a whispered secret between the both of them.

Dazai brushed his lips against hers again, indulging in the fleeting moment of tenderness when they were hidden away from the horrors of the Mafia and shrouded in the darkness of her apartment, blanketed in shadows and the faint light filtering in through her windows. "I wish I could stop time right now," he told her in a whisper, studying the glint in her eyes as they reflected the moonlight, feeling inexplicably like he could just stay with her like that for an eternity.

She didn't reply; only smiled and pulled him close again, almost as though she were hoping to make up for the forever they did not have. Because it wasn't quite love, but it was something, and it was theirs. Theirs to whisper in between stolen kisses, and to hide away in shadows and moonlight.

Because they didn't get a lot of good things in life-- the tragedies that they were-- but this was something they had for now and it was all they needed.

It's easier to pretend that forever exists for them in the space between tomorrow and today, when they're no longer tragedies, but only a gunpowder boy and a gasoline girl.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

We could be lovers

in the night, you and I.

Two souls, loud and messy

spilling our secrets

with the moon as our witness.

Let me taste your tears

with a kiss; I'll slip some ease

in between your lips

and can you feel it?

The rush, the high

of two misfit hearts glowing

like red neon lights

-Rush|| h.w