I'll Be Fine (All Time Low Fanfic)

Chapter 10

January 2005:

For Christmas, I got a present of my own bedroom downstairs. Most of my stuff was still kept upstairs in the room Rebecca and I used to share. I packed my bags, several people knocked on the door but I just ignored them. I waited for everyone to leave, then crept out and went to sleep in my bedroom for the last time. No, I went and lay in my bedroom for the last time. There was no way away I could sleep after the day I had. I took out my phone and tried to ring Alex. It went first to voicemail. Shit, I forgot he didn’t bring his phone charger. I tried Jack.

“Izzy!” I heard my best friends voice shout over loud music blaring behind him.

“Jack, is this a bad time?” I tried to keep my voice steady.

“Um, well kind of. Are you okay babe? I can try get out of here, or do you want Alex?” he was clearly shouting but I still found it difficult to hear him.

“No, I just wanted to hear your voice and chat.” I paused “Jack?”

“Yes Izzy?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too Izzy, you know that.” His voice was gentle now. I disconnected the call and lay there in silence. Letting the horrible thoughts attack me.

There was a knock on my door at ten o clock. I didn’t even try sleep.

“Sweetie, it’s Abigail. Are you ready?” her voice broke the hours of silence. I opened the door and nodded. Behind her, I saw Dan looking like he’d been crying. Nobody wanted me here so I was confused to why he was. He pushed the social worker out of the way and wrapped me in a bear hug.

“I’m so sorry Isabel, I honestly had no idea. I promise you, if I knew I would of stopped it.” He was rubbing my back and holding me close. He had been my big brother for years, he was my big brother. I caved in and hugged him back.

“I love you, I think you should go say goodbye to Rebecca, she hasn’t left her room since she found out. I nodded and squirmed out of his grasp. Rebecca left me in straight away. I wasn’t mad at either of them, they didn’t know. We sat there for about twenty minutes, just hugging and crying. I couldn’t believe I was going. I couldn’t believe I was being kicked out of my own family. After our emotional farewell, the two of us emerged down the stairs. Marie stood at the bottom of the stairs.

“Can we talk?” she asked quietly. “I think I need to explain myself.” As reluctant as I was, I followed her into the sitting room. It was probably the last time I would ever sit in here. I caught the first tear before it fell. She sat right next to me, her two hands clasped around mine, she was crying now too.

“You probably hate me by now. And you have full reason too. But I don’t want you to hate any other member of this family, of your family. This is all my fault, baby. I’m so so sorry,” her eyes flooded with tears.

“Then why did you do it?” I asked harshly, my voice was quivering. She didn’t speak, she just shook her head. “Please, Marie, tell me.”

“Sweetheart, nobody knew until yesterday. Not even me.” She paused, I said nothing waiting for her to continue. “Isabel, I have Cancer. Nobody besides you and Abigail know now. When Patrick found out that I had apparently gotten rid of you, he didn’t speak to me. I slept down here last night. Abigail made that up because I asked her not to tell you. We have no choice, Patrick has no job, I’m crucially sick; we’re an unfit family. There’s one thing I always want you to know, the second I get better, or Patrick gets work, I want you back here, with your family.” The two of us were weeping now, I felt horrible.

I waved goodbye now to my family with no hate. I was to visit them once a month which was something I looked forward too. I sat in the back of the car, Abigail driving. She’d explained I would spend about a month in a temporary foster home until paper work was done to find me a home. I turned my music up as loud as I could, trying to forget everything. My phone lit up beside me.

Jack:  Izzy, it’s Alex Jack said something was wrong?

I sighed, of course Jack had told Alex.

Isabel: Jack over reacting, sorry.

Jack: Are you sure baby?

Isabel: What was the last thing I said to you before you left?

Jack: Seriously Izzy? I don’t know? I love you? Don’t fuck hot bitches? I’ll be fine?

I laughed slightly, purely because he knew the whole time.

Isabel: Exactly, I’m fine. Now go enjoy yourself, and no, don’t fuck hot bitches please because I love you.

Jack: I love you too, I can’t wait to see you again. Only a few more days.

My eyes glistened. A few more days. A few more weeks. A few more months for all I knew. I put down the phone knowing I would just hurt us both.

I’ll be fine. Pfft, I knew I shouldn’t have said that from the start.