"Not our fault Lukes fat." (UNEDITED)

*Chapter 3* Be my friend, hold me, wrap me up, console me.

LUKES POV

I wake up to the feeling of a hand running softly through my hair, and quiet humming.

Blinking my eyes repeatedly until the world comes into focus, i look up at the ceiling and for a second i am in peace, until all of it comes flooding back to me.

Boys calling me fat.

Having a panic attack.

Relapsing.

Proving to the boys i'm not good enough.

etc.

I move my hand around under the sheets and shimmy it up through the bedding until i can press it against my head, rubbing my eyes, the humming stops, and i can hear them all quietly whispering to each other.

I try my best to sit up, noticing that the hand in my hair has removed itself, i am pressed up against someones warm chest and an arm is wrapped around my waist.

My body movement causes the person behind me to quietly 'shh' and pull me back into their chest.

I sleepily turn myself around to face the warm person behind me and i am met with a shy smiling Michael.

I give him a small smile back, but then i move my arms to the side to help push me up, but a searing pain shoots through my wrist.

"Ahhhh!!!" i yell pulling my other hand up to cradle my pain filled one, Michael tightens his arms around my waist and cuddles me to his chest.

The arm which was lazily placed on my hip moves and i watch Calum sit up quickly from his place on the bed.

"Shhh baby quiet you're alright." He whispers coming up to detach my hand from my red wrist, he carefully places my sore arm on his lap, all while Michael is grasping onto my middle so i don't squirm away.

"Cal and Mikey make sure he doesn't move, i'm gonna check in the bathroom for some medical supplies!" Ashton says before sliding off the bed and running towards the bathroom quickly.

"Mikey it hurts..." i say looking towards my wrist which has started to bleed again, i can see it all and i can't help but shiver at the embarrassment of the boys seeing the cuts all there in the open.

I look at cal and see him not moving his strong gaze from my wrist, i glance back to Mikey and study his face, he looks sort of frightened but then very very sad.

I finally let my muscles relax and slump back into Mikeys chest, he lets his arms fall a bit, but not by much.

"What time is it?" i utter trying to forget about the growing guilt i feel inside.

"Its around 10am, but don't worry we have the rest of the week off babe.." Mikey says, i look back at him with confusion all over my face.

"We're traveling for three days and then we get two days of Lukey" Some of the pain in my chest eases up a bit at that, the idea of not having to rush back into the busy schedule of preforming non stop.

"So its just us for a few days baby, no worries okay? we can just wrap you up in a bed blanket and we can just watch movies for a few days okay?" Calum looks at me with such love in his eyes.

Love you don't deserve

"Okay! i found some disinfectant, some bandages and cotton balls!" Ashton says rushing back into the room and carefully placing the items on the beside before moving to the bed, he rests his hand on my arm. 

"Cal can you please pore some disinfectant on a cotton ball and pass it to me?" Calum nods his head before carefully moving to the bedside table and unscrewing the lid.