Heart to Hart ✔️

15. Lilac walls

I lay there in Max's bed, naked physically and emotionally, under the covers. What was all the fuss about? That was by far the most uncomfortable experience I had ever endured. I twisted my head slightly to catch the time. Five minutes! It had only lasted five minutes and that was already five minutes too long. Most of that time was spent trying to relax for him to huff and puff on top of me and then poof, it was over before it started.

Next to me, Max stared at the ceiling of his bedroom, with his arms crossed over his chest. "You might want to use the bathroom."

Without a word, I stumbled out of his bed. I tried gathering his bedsheets around me but Max had the piece of fabric tightly tucked under his arms. What did I have to lose now? It couldn't possibly get worse.

With my back against the closed door of the bathroom, I squinted at the dimly lit space. It only consisted of a grotty toilet, a soap-scum laced shower, and a sink with toothpaste splatters on the mirror and around the faucets. Did I want to use the toilet or should I rinse off? I was in uncharted waters. As I stood there, aching down below, a small trickle of blood hit the floor. Just great! That, however, I had expected.

Before jumping in his shower, a faint tap sounded behind me. I paused for a second to collect my thoughts and cracked the door open to see my clothes folded on the floor. I picked them up and dumped them in the bone dry sink. I trusted that more than leaving them on the peeling vinyl floor, which probably hadn't been cleaned in a while.

The warm water soothed the dull ache between my legs. I dried off and picked my clothes up. My knickers. Where were my knickers? I searched the pile once more. Nothing. I tiptoed back outside to check if I dropped them. There they were, hanging off the door handle I had just opened.

I yanked them on, followed by the rest of my clothes. Max wasn't anywhere to be seen as I headed out. I slipped into his living area to see him sitting at a small table, eating a sandwich.

"Do you think you can take me home now?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. I was two seconds away from bursting into tears.

Max swivelled in his chair, a mouth full of food. "Mphf-, yep." He swallowed his snack, wiped his mouth with the sleeve of a chequered shirt he had just put on and downed a glass of water. He grabbed his keys and walked straight out of his flat without waiting for me to slip my shoes back on or grab my handbag.

Once ready, I scurried out of the flat after him. He was midway down the outside stairs when I reached the exit. "Don't you need to lock up?"

"No, just pull it closed. You can't get back in without a key," he shouted up to me.

The drive home to Hawkley was awkward. Max tried to hold my hand as he drove, but I kept them firmly in my lap. When we arrived at my house, he gave me a quick peck on the lips and I all but ran to my front door without looking back.

With shaky hands, I struggled to fit the key into the lock, missing the target a few times. Finally entering the house, I was greeted with pure silence. I slid my shoes off, put them on our shoe rack and tiptoed down the hallway.

The kitchen light was still on so I pushed the door slightly open. Popping my head through the gap, I peered around. No one. I inched into the room some more and jumped at the sight of an unknown form, half of it inside one of our bottom cupboards. Rosie's head then burst out to check who had disturbed her.

"Nat! You scared the life out of me," she shrieked.

"Scared you? You scared me! What on earth are you doing down there?"

"Looking for some kitchen scales. I wanted to make a cake." Rosie kept on with her search, her voice muffled inside the cupboard.

I poured myself a large glass of water and sat down at the table. "Why don't you just let Mum make it?"