bnc | lookism.

9 × past, present

But as Chae Eun looked up at him with her watery eyes and trembling jaw, he was reminded that his vows applied to her too, the daughter of his wife. And even though the thought of lashing out on Eun Mi never crossed his mind, even when he was clouded with rage, he felt like he broke his vow. Even though he only meant to shake his wife off him, he knew he was no better than her past husband.

"Chae Eun, I'm sorry, I didn—" He reached out to approach them again but Chae Eun was standing up, propping her mother against her.

The look of remorse unsettled her. Her father never had that look on his face. Every beating was justified to him. Chae Eun was shaking as she stood her ground but her initial fear had turned into anger now. "You promised her," She was clenching her teeth so tight it was a surprise it didn't shatter. "In front of hundreds of people, you promised her!"

Eun Mi didn't stop her tears in time from falling. But not because of Jae Wook—no, she knew he would never hurt her, not in a million years—it was because of her daughter. Chae Eun grew up too fast and no kid should ever experienced the things she has at such a young age. Her heart weeped for her daughter. She's never felt more powerless seeing Chae Eun this vulnerable.

When Chae Eun turn to see her mother crying, the illusion finally shattered. She was never happy in this house. That was how she interpreted her mother's tears. How did she not notice? How could she let her mother stay in this house, with the man who could very well be another abuser? Chae Eun might as well put an end to this. She'd put a thousand mile distance between her mother and the CEO if it means never having to see her cry again. Not now that she can actually do something about it.

Eun Mi can actually see the cogs turning in her daughter's head and she gripped at her arm, a pleading look on her face. But Chae Eun lightly brushed her hand off, her mind already set. They were communicating through their eyes and Chae Eun's gaze only spoke these words—we're leaving. Eun Mi chose not to fight her daughter, at least not in front of her husband. She knew what staying by Jae Wook's side after this would mean to Chae Eun. She can already see the look of disbelief on her daughter's face. And so she let Chae Eun drag her out of the room and out of the house, without so much as a word to her husband.

They left the house with nothing but the clothes they have on—Chae Eun still has her backpack on from school but that's about it. Her mother was holding nothing but her hand when they left.

Once they were out of the neighborhood, Chae Eun guided her mother to a waiting shed. She wanted to check on her. Eun Mi was reassuring her daughter during their hike that she was fine but she was having none of it. And even when she confirmed that her mother was unscathed, the frown on Chae Eun's lips were still there.

"How long has he been hurting you?" Her voice was just sad now, the fight in her from earlier was but a shadow.

"Honey, he wasn't hurting me. Not then, not ever." She took her face into her palms, caressing her cheeks with her thumbs. "What happened was just—"

There it was. Chae Eun heard her heart break with the beginning of her mother's sentence. "Don't make excuses for him!" She truly believed she buried every memory of pain and hurt of that life—and that her mother had done the same thing. I'll never make the same mistakes twice. That's what she said once they've escaped that hell. And that includes no more excuses for what is obviously abusive behavior. What was she doing then?

"Chae Eun, I'm not making excuses. Lying to you is about the last thing I'll do, you know that, right?" Eun Mi was a tougher woman than people give her credit for. For one thing, she doesn't let being a victim of abuse define who she is. She survived and she's with her daughter, living the best of their lives, and that's all that matters. But it seems like that wasn't the case for Chae Eun. Her father had really broke her. No matter how many times she'd convinced herself that the past was behind her, she was still haunted by it. And Eun Mi hated feeling helpless about her daughter's case.

"I'm not going back. I don't want to." Chae Eun was still not entirely convinced that her mother was ever safe in that house. If the CEO still hasn't hurt her mother, he eventually will. She saw the look of frenzy in his eyes, albeit briefly, as she first came upon the scene. Sooner or later that rage will find a corporeal target and Chae Eun will be damned if she let her mother be it.

Eun Mi sighed. She didn't want to fight her daughter on anything tonight. If it'll ease Chae Eun, she'll go along with whatever she had in mind. "All right, honey, but where do we go?"

Renting an inn was out of the question—she didn't carry any cash on her and she'd rather sleep on the street than use the credit cards the CEO gave her—and so was saunas because the closest one was a handful of kilometers away from the neighborhood. She'd have to fetch the money she's been keeping away in her locker at school first thing tomorrow. But that still leaves her the problem of where they were going to sleep tonight.

Chae Eun considered calling Eun Tae but decided against it. She didn't want to inconvenience Mr. and Mrs. Lee. She thought of Jace too but then she also didn't want to bother his parents. It sucks not having any living relatives to stay over.

And then Jay crossed her mind. Embarrassment followed the thought but it really wasn't such a bad idea. The guy lived alone and she'd been to his place—it can house both her and her mother without taking that much space. And then it was back to embarrassment. That was shameless of her to think that Jay would even welcome them and let them stay.

Chae Eun looked over at her mother. Eun Mi was shivering in her night dress, hands rubbing at her shoulders to produce any semblance of heat. And Chae Eun decided this was not a time for shame. Running away was her idea—she started this and she'll go through with it. She'll grow a thick skin just for tonight. Rummaging through her bag, she pulled out her Burn Knuckles jacket and handed it to her mother. And then she pulled out her phone and called Jay's number. He picked up on the third ring.

"Hey, Jay. Are you home?"