ɪ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ➻〚𝙣𝙘𝙩 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙤𝙩7〛

Flashback: That Damn Closet

The room stays silent for what feels like an hour, and I finally work up the courage to open my eyes, not scared of what their reactions will be. I'm not afraid anymore. Eyelids fluttering open, I immediately see six, proud, vibrant smiles looking back at me, and I feel unbelievably relieved.

Turning me towards him, I meet Mark's eyes, and I immediately grin as he flashes me the proudest look, his eyes sparkling. Ecstasy shoots through my veins, being able to read Mark's reaction just through his eyes, and damn, it feels so good. Mark is the pillar of the group, our leader, and it means the world to see pride gleam through his eyes as if there were rainbows in them.

"That's fantastic, Jaems. I'm so proud of working up your courage to tell us because I know how hard that must be. Knowing who you love will never make me love you any less; in fact, I think I love you more now... All six of us will always be here for you, Jaemin," Mark blurts excitedly, wrapping me in a deep embrace as the other five boys join the hug, enveloping me in love. It feels as though a vibrant, proud rainbow is shining over all seven of us right now.

"Thank you for telling us, Nana. I love you so, so much, but I want you to know that we'll never look at you differently because you're bi. We'll be with you through everything, trust me," Jeno tells me softly, and I grin especially mushily at Jeno. Appreciation flows through me so intensely. I can't tell Jeno that he was the one that made me realize my bisexuality, so the most I do is hug him especially tight and show him how appreciative I am through my smile.

Jeno will always carry a special piece of my heart for that, but I'm so happy that he's here, as my best friend, showing me unconditional support and love. It makes my heart beat so intensely to know that he's supporting me.

The rest of the boys continue to hug, comfort, and whisper words of support, and I begin to feel so "seen," if that makes sense. Never before has anyone acknowledged me, shown that they see and understand me, and supported me like the boys are doing right now. It's incredible the effects that a few simple sentences can have. For people who are gay, or bisexual like me, just knowing that someone sees you, acknowledges you, and values you, makes them feel so validated.

It feels so freeing to finally have stepped out of that damn closet. There's no more darkness any longer, and though I can't hide behind the door of protection that I had before I came out, it feels so liberating to be in the light, feel loved for who you are, and to be able to live my life genuinely. No longer do I have to hold myself back when we talk about crushes during sleepovers or hide the times where my interest lies on boys in public, and though those are small victories, they feel great.

Finally, all the boys pull away, grinning in jubilance, when Jisung remarks, "So, when are you going to come home to us with a boyfriend or girlfriend?"

Tackling the younger, but taller boy playfully, I retort, "None of your beeswax, Mr. Pwark. Run off to your own boyfriend now." Smirking, all of the boy's jaws drop at this surprise announcement.

"Boyfriend? When did you get a boyfriend, you fetus? You're too young!" Haechan whines in surprise, clutching onto Jisung as if the younger was his own baby. Grinning, I realize I'm back to my old self, preoccupied with pranking my friends and teasing the younger ones.

Jisung stares at me with the most quizzical, confused look and babbles out, "Boyfriend? When did I ever say I had a boyfriend, Jaems?" Quickly turning to Haechan, he reassures desperately, "Don't worry, Haechannie. I don't have a boyfriend. I've never had a significant other, dated anyone, or kissed anyone, so you don't have to worry."

Haechan's erratic breathing slows down, and his gaze slowly goes up, giving me the dirtiest stare, "Jaemin, you piece of shit! I was literally going to have a panic attack! Why would you do that to me?" Haechan over-exaggeratedly pumps his chest, flopping his head into Jisung's lap. "God, I'm so relieved. You're too young to be dating anyone, Jisungie."