"Have I ever told you that I love how cold and distant you are? It makes this even more easier." She rolled over onto her back so that our arms were now rubbing against each other.
"No." I answered.
I heard her hum before saying, "you're different and I believe you're going to surprise us all because we don't know what you're planning."
"Maybe." I scrunched my face up staring at the ceiling, I wanted to surprise them yes but I didn't know where to start.
"If you finally decide to go to church, I'll come with you." Her words were reassuring, she also felt as if the church could change me for the better.
"I'll think about it." I muttered.
"Four words, mhm maybe I'll get you to church too." She laughed out.
I smiled at her and decided that maybe going to church wouldn't be so bad after all. Shion played in my short coils, I had finally decided to get dreadlocks after wearing my hair short for so long. A low cut was expensive to maintain because I always had to be going to the barber so I decided to save that money instead and have Shion start my dreadlocks.
While my mother was short and plump and my sister a average height with a nice shape, I was struggling to keep and maintain weight. I've always had a slender body and deep collarbones so it wasn't hard for me to dress masculine, it felt more comfortable and I had nothing to show off anyways. I climbed between Shion's legs and started to kiss on her, she loved how rough I always was. I didn't know how to make love or how to be gentle, she was the only one I've ever been with and I was 22 with my virginity still intact.
Night had fallen and I was still awake listening to the crickets running around outside, Shion was sleeping soundly beside me facing the wall. This was a regular for me, I hardly ever slept due to the fact that I was always trying to think of ways to make money. At first, all of my plans were legal but all those plans either backfired, didn't start up or failed after one month. I knew failure as well as I knew the lines that ran through my palm, I wouldn't be able to trace them directly from memory but it felt more like a background thought. I decided that maybe it was time to take up something illegal but small, small enough that if I got caught it would be no more than five years in the pen. I started selling weed but even that failed and now I was working at a mechanic shop in town; an honest and hardworking living that wasn't getting me anywhere anytime soon.
When I finally got some peace of mind to rest, Shion was shaking me awake for church. I groaned as I sat up and allowed my mind to ease into my body, I didn't like moving as soon as I woke up it made me feel off balance. I avoided church knowing that my mom and this highly religious church would never allow me to wear a pants to their gathering.
"As you are." I stared Shion down.
"That's not what the Bible meant, that scripture means spiritually not physically so here." She outstretched her hand to offer me a black skirt and my blue collared shirt that I wore for my interviews.
I frowned while I stepped into the skirt and Shion came to button the shirt up for me, she was fully dressed in a yellow dressed that accentuated her curves and stopped about three inches below her knees. She knew I was extremely uncomfortable and I believe that's why she offered to come with me. I stood to look at my skinny legs and tall figure in the mirror, whoever said money doesn't bring happiness doesn't know me.
Luckily, the church was only a 10 minutes walk away. With a full belly and a building tolerance level they made it to the church and sat towards the back after she made sure that her mother saw, gushed and introduced me to everyone in the church. Most of them either looked at me with confused expressions and others just laughed seeing my skinny kneecaps in a skirt. The service started and I was already bored of of my mind, I played with Shion's fingers and her purse before dozing off. The pastor screamed out and I immediately jolted back awake, I focused more on his words and realized that the topic for the day was abortion.
"The heathens are choosing education and money over children! The Bible says that we are here to procreate and everything else can come after! This is the time of the Antichrist! We must repent! Repent! And prepare to meet thy god." The pastor dabbed the green rag he hand in his hand over his forehead, he was sweating like an ice cold bottle in the sun.
"Abortion is the devil, it is satanic, it is problematic! If you think what has befell us was terrible, wait until abortion is considered normal! Years from now they will contemplating if they should legalize it and years from now they will legalize gays!" The congregation howled in their agreement.
"We as honest, god fearing Christians must not allow this to happen in our country. We cannot allow the Muslims to overpopulate us! It is in their plan! The antichrist is a Muslim! Heathens!!" He screamed out.
"Hallelujah!" A random woman jumped out with a shout.
Dancing around, she repeated the word over and over. She stomped and spoke in tongues, I bit my tongue to keep my laughter in. Once she fell to the ground and hit her head on the church pew I couldn't contain it anymore, I had to excuse myself from the service. I took in a large gulp of air once I stepped out into the open, I heard whispers coming from the side of the church where the restrooms were located. I made my way around the back to see the deacon and other members of the church having a small discussion.
"Yes! They are the best place to run to right now." The deacon said.
"I hear that they have drug cartels." The tallest of the group said.
"I do not care about that, I care about the income. Pastor Rafiki from the Faith Missionary said he got a quick money by trafficking drugs, how hard can that be?" The deacon quickly shut the man up.
"Can you provide me with the number for the pastor?" I stepped up into the group of men looking around and stopping at the deacon.
"Who are you?" The deacon looked quite upset "and what are you doing here? You should be among the other women." He turned his nose up.
"I need to start making some money, I need to know that Pastor." I cut right to the chase, I hated men in religious power, they thought they meant more than shit.
"This is not something for a girl." The guy who spoke was a drug dealer in our area, anything you wanted you got.
"That's sexist and beside the point. I'm looking to make it and sitting around here in the churches and poverty is not going to help. So give me the number." They all stood silent waiting for the deacon to address me. I've been told countless amount of times that my looks and facial expressions could freeze hell over, could stop a war but it couldn't do what I wanted to do mainly; acquire a lot of money.
"Meet me in my office later." The deacon looked at me after exchanging looks with the other four men in the circle.
I nodded and walked off back in the direction I was coming from. Running into Shion, she asked "I wondered where you went, I came to look for you."
"If I was to get an alias, what do you think would fit me?" I asked her after I dragged her over to the cool shade.
"Mhmmm.." she looked away from me with a lost look in her eyes.
"I'd say...." she drew out, "Pep." She smiled.
"Why?" I raised my eyebrow and narrowed my eyes at her.
"Because of how you are, the opposite of anything that has Pep. It's ironic. Someone like you with a name like Pep." She chuckled.
I couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corner of my lips, I guess she had a valid point and it was a good alias. My mind was still rummaging around itself trying to find a fitting name keeping Pep on the back burner just in case I didn't come up with anything constructive and worthwhile. It had to leave an impact, I had to leave an impact and that's a promise.
**
2:57 AM
I can't sleep.
46. Youth.
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