Jaan-E-Mustafa

SEVENTEEN

"Beta Hume aapki bahut chinta ho rahi hai. Aapki halat humse Dekhi nahi jati. Hume bataiye ki ab aap iss rishte se Kya chahti hai ? Aapko ye rishta kayam rakhna hai ya nahi ? Aap Jo bhi faisla lengi usme aapki dado aapke saath hai. Ab hum bas aapki khushi chahte hai aur kuch nahi. Apna faisla aap soch samajh ke liyega. Ab aapko koi kisi cheez ke liye force nahi karega."

(My child I am worried about you. I can't see you like this. Tell me what do you want to do with this relation now ? Do you want to continue it or end everything ? Whatever decision you make I am with you. Now only your happiness matters to me. Think about it wisely. Now no one will force you for anything.)

She nodded her head but she was lost in the thoughts of what happened earlier in the morning......

Flashback...

Maria Mustafa Ahwaan's POV

My sleep was disturbed with someone knocking on my door. Thinking it was Rafia, I opened the door but I saw my husband standing there looking at me with longing in his eyes.

I don't know why I was relieved seeing him after so long. seeing him again made me remember the beautiful memories we created together. I want to hug him tight and never let him go, but what he did is unforgivable.He hurt me to the extent that I am unable to forgive him.

I should hate him for all the awful things he said, but I don't hate him. I can't hate him even if I want to, because I love him. Yes, I have fallen in love with a man who broke me.

It hurts me to be away from him, but my self respect won't allow me to be with a man who questioned my character. Even when that person is the man I have fallen in love with. I can't forget that horrible night even if want to. It is etched in my memory forever.

I wish, I really wish, I wouldn't have gone to that party, I wish I won't had met Zaid.
I wish everything was right between us both. I wish I could go back in time and change everything.

My train of thoughts was broken with him, entering my room. And now, I was back on my angry mode seeing him.

How dare he enter my room without my permission? I was about to shout at him when he said

"Mujhe maaf Kar diye main aapke room mein bina pooche aa gaya, par mujhe aapse bahut zaroori baat karni hai."

(I am sorry for entering your room without your consent but I really want to talk with you about something important.)

"Par mujhe aapse koi baat nahi karni. Ab aap yaha se jaa sakte hai."

(But I don't want to talk with you. Now you can leave.)

"Main apni baat Puri Kare bina yaha se nahi jaunga. Aapko Meri baat Sunni padegi. Please, ek baar Meri baat sun liye,  us ke baad mein chup chaap yaha se chala jaunga."

(I will not go before I tell you what I came here for. You have to listen to me. Please, for once listen to me, I promise I'll leave after that.)

He helplessly said while looking into my eyes. So I nodded and told him

"Theek hai, par aapke paas sirf das minute hai. Uske baad main aapki ek nahi sunne wali."

(Okay, but you have only ten minutes. After that I am not going to listen to you.)

He nodded and said

"Neeche sab aapke aur mere talaq ki baat kar rahe hai. Mujhe pata hai ke maine aapke saath theek nahi kiya aur meri wajah se aap bahut takleef mein hai, par iska matlab ye nahi hai ke sab humara talaq karane par amaada ho jaaye. Main kuch bhi karne ko taiyaar hu lekin, main aapko talaq nahi de sakta."

(Downstairs everyone is discussing to get us divorced. I know what I did was very wrong and you are in so much of pain because of me but that doesn't mean everyone will try to get us separated. I am ready to do anything but I will not divorce you.)

I was shocked hearing him. How dare they decide about my life without involving me in it. They have no right to impose their decision on us. First, they got us married without our consent and now they want us to get separated like we were never married. Is our life a joke to everyone?

I will not divorce him. I never thought of divorce. Yes, we are currently having problems in our marriage and I am hurt beyond repair but that doesn't mean I will divorce him. I know, it will take to forgive him and it might not happen soon cause now even if I see him, I get angry at him but never in my craziest dreams I can think of divorcing him, one because Allah doesn't like divorce, two because I love him.

I pushed my thoughts aside and thought to see his reaction on me accepting our divorce. I want to see how much our relation matters to him and how far he can go to save our relation. So I replied him

"Aur agar main kahu ke mujhe is rishte se nijaat chahiye. Agar main kahu ke mujhe aapse dur rehna hai, aur kabhi aapki taraf mudke nahi dekhna ? Aap kya karenge? Bataiye?"

(What if I say I want divorce ? What if I say I want to be away from you and never want to look at you again? What will you do? Tell me?)

He looked at me with sadness in his eyes but then smiled painfully looking at me and his next words stopped my heart and chilled me to my bones

"To main Allah se dua karunga ke wo mujhe maut de dein, taaki aapki mujhse juda hone ki, aur meri shakal doobara na dekhne ki dua qubool ho jaaye, kyuki jabtak main zinda hu main aapko nahi choddh sakta."

(Then I will pray to Allah to grant me death so that your wish to get away from me and never see my face again will come true because I can't leave you till I am alive.)

He said while smiling sadly and left me after kissing my forehead.

Flashback ends......

Maria Mustafa Ahwaan's POV

I was stunned hearing dado, so that means he was right. They are really planning to get us divorced. But I will not let that happen. So I answered her sternly

"Dado mujhe pata hai jo kuch bhi Mustafa ne kaha wo galat tha, lekin iska matlab ye nahi hai ke sab humari talaq karwane ke baare mein sochne lage. Pehle to humari shaadi humari marzi ke bina karwadi ab talaq ki baat aise kar rahe hai jaise ye bahut mamuli baat ho. Humaari Zindagi ko mazak samajh rakha hai sabne. Ye hum dono shauhar aur biwi ka masla hai aur main nahi chahti isme koi bhi bole."

(I know whatever Mustafa said was wrong but that does not mean everyone will start thinking to get us divorced. First you all got us married without our consent and now you all are talking about divorce as if it is the most simple thing in this world. Is our life joke to you all. This matter is ours and I don't want anyone interfering in our matters.)

Dado looked shocked hearing me, I think she never thought I will deny divorce but then quickly composed herself and was about to say something when Baseer came towards my room crying hysterically.

"Baseer Kya hua, tum ro kyu rahe ho ?"

(Baseer what happened, why are you crying?)

I asked him getting tensed seeing him. Something is wrong, I can feel it.

Ya Allah, rehem Kar...

Oh Allah, have mercy..

Baseer hiccuped looking at me and then he spoke

"Aa-aapi, Mu-Mustafaa bhaai ka accident ho gaya hai aur unki halat bahut serious hai."

(Aa-aapi, Mu-Mustafaa bhaai met with an accident and his condition is very critical.)

My whole world came crashing  down when he said that.

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Asalaamualailum everyone

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Till next time,
Allah Hafiz

P.S   Pray for Mustafa