For Years To Come

Chapter 7

"The Chris I once knew was just really jealous, and it would make her really angry sometimes. This literally isn't that. I don't know why she is like turning everyone into public enemy number one in her mind. This constant survival instinct and extreme jealousy are two totally different things. Yeah, the jealousy is still there, but something has changed." I say as I see Cara thinking.

A loud beep interrupts her and I's thoughts, and a little square device on her hip lights up.

"I've got to go, I'm being paged to the emergency room. I'll see you soon, okay?" She hugs me quick and I say a brief goodbye before she leaves.

I sigh, laying my head back on the pillow and lacing my shaking fingers through one of the many thick blankets on my bed.

I keep finding myself constantly torn between missing my family and not wanting my family to see me like this.
I know they don't care, but I do.
I don't like feeling like this: going through withdraw.
How is it withdraw if I never chose to start addictive narcotics anyways?

Withdraw is always seen as a negative thing. Someone chose to have an addiction, then it got so severe they were dying, and then stopping the narcotic gives them withdraw. Ultimately, withdraw is what you're signing up for when you choose to start said narcotic.

Choose.
Choice.
Personal decision.

I never had any of those.
I didn't have a decision.

It never was my choice to be tied down and have an experimented version of oxycodone forced into my nostril.

Hell, normal oxycodone can't even be administered that way. Classically it's put in a vein.
And now, I'm forced to go through withdraw, and I never even chose to sign up for taking this narcotic.

It's not fair.

I smack myself mentally, pulling my thoughts away from myself.

It's selfish to be moping at a time like this.

Seven days ago I laid with Indy while Tobias went to a meeting, and that was the last time I saw him.
Yeah, I've gone months and years without seeing him before, but these seven days have felt like years.
When he called me that next day, he seemed rushed telling me that he wasn't going to be able to visit for a few days.
He said something along the lines of a lot of meetings happening, and how he's hoping things go well with the Bureau.

For I have no other activity to do other than lay here, I came to my own conclusion that the Bureau must have answered Chicago's request to meet in person about the scenarios that caused there to constantly be Bureau troops outside our fence.

Peter Hayes is in their possession.
What more do they want from us?

I just really hope everything is okay.
I've been dying to hear news. I know the whole thing is being kept quiet, but I just need to know.

I constantly worry for my friends and family.
Whatever decision is made impacts them directly; impacts the whole city directly.

I jump when I hear my phone buzz, the vibrating sound filling the entire room. Turning my head I see that it is Shauna, and I use my shaking hand to try and grab my phone.

I bite my lip, my hand shaking badly as I try to wrap my fingers around the device.
I hope everything is okay.
Maybe she has news.
Is something wrong?
Does she just want to chat?

I get the device in my grasp for seconds before it drops to the ground.

"Shit!" I curse, throwing my head back on the bed as I listen to the buzz continue then stop from below my bed.