#tb to when i'd just met aero and i thought his name was nice and i searched it up and there was sumn about "comb" and i was shocked cause i thought his name meant comb, like the comb u comb ur hair with and aero was rlly confused why tf i kept calling him comb and ig he searched it up? and then he was like "wtf kei comb as in cOMBINATION" and istg i felt so mf dumb and i think ive lost more brain cells since then lmao
and i faintly rmbr calling him oreoplane and sumn about slippers and snakes???
i miss that.
but no im not going to cry about it and im not going to pretend that im fine either
im going to be strong when i go all emo (did that make sense) and i know i have every right to miss him and im like,, tired or pretending that im happy and ive moved on ,, cause i can probably never "move on" from losing someone i love damnnit. i know not all hope is lost or whatever and no im not going to kill myself but a piece of me died with him and so !
most people dont know how to react when i start getting emo and ugh thats why i tend not to mention him at all in my convos but if i ever do: the only thing uve gotta do is just listen to my rants and send me hugs and like, thats it. dont feel pressured to give me huge speeches abt moving on and shit please.
im going to remember him well , not crying at 0000 hrs but im going to rmbr happy times and the great things we had and im going to work hard and im going to make sure he'd been proud of me :)
one day im going to be able to listen to teen,age, thanks, heaven, clover etc without wanting to shrivel into a ball and cry without my heart physically aching - ok maybe it might ache a little but it won't be sad - ok it'll be a little sad but it's gonna be different in a good way
[ also,, since august is a-coming,, expect more ugly emo rants wheee ]
