(Oop this is a draft and it sucks I'm sorry)
Rosé's pov
I look at Lisa from across the room for what it feels like the 1000th time that night. She looks so calm, she's wearing her pajamas but she can still take my breath away no matter what she is wearing and no matter how she looks. I hate this, this control she has on me and on my feelings, I always try to put it aside but I can't. She keeps pulling me closer to her every time.
I can't keep this going, me and Lisa are friends, she's my best friend and my band mate, noting more. Well she shouldn't be nothing more, but we don't keep it like it should be, I keep promising myself every night after I'm back from her room that it was the last time we did something so 'not friendly' but that promise always fails and every time she texts me saying she wants me I just go back to her.
She notices I've been looking at her and glances back at me while smirking. She knows it all, she knows the effect she has on me and she loves it, she never takes me seriously when I try to tell her we have to stop this cause she knows we never do, she knows she can always make me come back to her. She knows the power she has over me and she takes advantage of it.
I don't even know if this is mutual, we never discussed it, it started as just a casual hook up when we were both drunk after a party, we promised it wouldn't happen again and never discussed it, but a few weeks later it happened again and again until it became an habit, we were still close and we were still bestfriends during the day, but the nights we spend together as more than that have become more and more frequent. It's been a couple months like this and after pushing all the thoughts in my head aside I've came to the conclusion that I actually had feelings for her, that drunk night began it all, it was like a chain reaction and I couldn't quite separate night from day anymore, I couldn't act like I was only her friend anymore and that's why I've been distant. Lisa probably doesn't feel anything else, she wants to have fun, she wants to feel good and relieve her stress, and I was really easy after that. I'm starting to realize how dangerous and toxic this is for me, I can't keep this going, she probably doesn't see me as more than a friend with benefits and I'm starting to like her too much, even if she did reciprocate this is a dangerous situation, us together it just can't happen.
So in the last few days I've been successfully ignoring her intentions, either friendly or not, I just need to get away from her but I can't, we have to be together everyday and act like nothing is wrong in front of the cameras, not that I hate Lisa, I could never hate her, I like her too much, that's the problem. The way I like her has become toxic and the fact that we don't have almost any separate time it's draining me.
I really need to breathe, air is becoming too thick and I can't really take it anymore so I get up and head to my room not bothering to say anything, Jennie was in her room already, Jisoo had fell asleep on the couch and Lisa was looking at me. I head to my room and slowly closed the door shut not to make any noises and I fall into my bed, I just lay there looking at the ceiling really not knowing what to do with what I feel right now.
After a few minutes I hear footsteps and a knock on my door. I don't answer, I know who it is and I know what's coming, I already feel like an idiot for not having the strength to tell her to go away. The door slowly opens revealing her face.
"Rosie can we talk?" - She asks softly this time, she doesn't have that smirk anymore.
"Is it really talking that you want to do Lisa?" - I sigh.
She looks at me sadly as she shuts the door and comes sitting next to me.
"Rosie, I know I haven't been anything close to a good friend later, you tried to tell me you wanted to stop what was going on and I never gave you the freedom to do it. I really don't know what I was doing, I thought it was being good for the both of us but it crossed the line, I get it. I don't wanna lose out friendship over this, I don't want you to feel used so if you want to stop this we'll stop, we're back to being just best friends and nothing more. - she kind of whispers the last part, she seems sad but tries to keep it together.
I stay speechless for a few seconds but I can't keep it in anymore, it's been too long since whatever this is started and Lisa and I have always been completely honest with each other, there's no more limits to cross between us so I realize it's better to clean everything up right now.
"Lisa?" - I suddenly say while she looks up at me - "what am I to you?"
"What do you mean?" - she asks - "you're my best friend and the best person I could ever have with me"
"Don't you think we kind of blurred out what friendship means at this point?" - I finally look at her.
"I.. I know Rosie, that s why I came here, we don't have to do It anymore, I can tell you feel It a ruining our friendship and I don't what that"
"Lisa don't you get it?" - I blurt out kind of scaring her - "I just can't go back to being your friend, at the beginning I thought I could because we were both drunk and horny teenagers but it's been repeating for months now and I know that from your side there probably aren't any feelings involved but god dammit Lisa I like you, not just as a friend, I really like you. I don't know for how long but you're all I think about since the first night we slept together and I was honestly in heaven but I can't keep doing it if it means I'm only your nightly hobby" - I'm tearing up at this point.
"Wait, you like me? Like really like me?" - she asks shocked.
"Yes I do Lisa, and I hate to put you in this awkward position but I can't keep this to myself anymore"
She looks at me in disbelief and started smiling, I don't know what she's smiling about. I was about to open my mouth the ask her but I'm suddenly interrupted by a pair of soft lips on mine, a pair of lips that I know way too well, but this kiss felt different, Lisa's kisses have always been passionate but this one has a deeper meaning, I can't tell what this is but Lisa has never kissed me with so much feeling before and like the idiot I am I don't have the strength to pull back, I never do.
We finally separate so we can breath and that s when she starts to blurt it out.
"You have no idea how much I've wanted to hear that Park Chaeyoung, I can't believe you really thought that I only wanted you to sleep with me when I was bored. Rosie I didn't plan on anything to happen that night but you know why it happened? Cause I've liked you, no scratch that, I've been in love with you for years know Roseanne and I only found the courage to do anything about it when I was drunk, I was trying to keep my cool all these months cause I always thought you would never reciprocate my feelings, but I'd rather have you some nights than not to have you at all. Oh god I was such an idiot, I had no idea you liked me back and that I was hurting you, I can't believe you really thought I didn't want you as more than a friend when that's literally all I've wanted my entire life. I love you Park Chaeyoung and I want you to be mine, for real this time. Will You?"
"Yes I will Lisa, I love You."
That was the most magical night we ever had cause there were no more doubts between us and I've never felt happier in my entire life.
