Linus Toria

Chapter 19

Gaspard was disturbed. He used to think that knowing somebody for 30 years was enough to get a sufficient feel for that person's character. But apparently not. Or Manon had simply changed and he didn't notice the signs.

From his perspective, Manon had always been something akin to his older sister. She was 14 years older than him and had spent the complete time pn the battlefield. When he had a question his first contact wasn't Mathieu as he was more of a doer than a talker. Instead he went to Manon. She had always had an open ear for him during the war even when he had been nothing but a reckless rookie and saved him more than once from doing something suicidal stupid.

Gaspard was aware that Manon was still haunted by ghosts of her past. Ghosts he couldn't completely comprehend because he joined the war only during the last year. She had seen far more gruesome things than he could imagine but he had assumed that she could deal with them just fine. In his eyes his 'older sister' was strong like that. Maybe he shouldn't have taken her mental fortitude for granted. Contrary to their creators' wishes, they still had emotions and a mind of their own.

Earlier, Manon looked like a scheming maniac and it had scared Gaspard. Why would she have bad intentions towards a girl she just met? And who hadn't done anything to her? When did she become like that? Was it half a year ago when Ciel disappeared? He thought Ciel's vanishing had affected him the most. Yet, Manon might have taken it just as bad as Gaspard if not worse.

Had the others noticed that there was something off about Manon? Or was he the only one who questioned matters that shouldn't be asked in their circle? Not one of them was a hero. Perhaps Manon had always had bout of aggressions and he had just been exempt from them due to them being teammates.

Or Gaspard had started scrutinising this because Lina, his saviour, to whom he owed a life debt, was involved. Had he become unable to differentiate between right and wrong when that girl was involved? That had never been his strong suit. It wouldn't help anybody if he had concerns about his orders. He just carried them out and grieved later.

Still, no matter how much he liked somebody, it shouldn't cause him to suddenly suspect his friend. After all, was the problem really with Manon? Or had he gone insane? He should ask the others for their thoughts. While being as inconspicious as possible of coures, lest Manon noticed his actions.

Finally sure about his future course of actions, he watched his peacefully sleeping companions. They looked a lot younger and more innocent when they relaxed in their sleep. It was one of the reasons why he liked guard duty at night so much: he could watch without being watched. That's why he had volunteered tonight. His thoughts about Manon would have kept him up anyways.

Keeping threats at bay while being on watch was a welcome bonus. As the one with the least experience he also wanted to attribute something to the team. And guard as well as scout duty suited his abilities best. Sometimes he wondered, if Mathieu gave only him easier missions on purpose. The thought hurt.

His alarm clock shocked him out of his notions. Time to wake the others. Getting up from his position he walked up to them. Fortunately, he didn't have to do much more. Just stepping into their personal space would wake the others. One of the more handy relicts of the war.

„Good morning", Gaspard greeted them cheerfully. Nobody returned his greeting.

„What time is it?", Elodie groaned.

„Ten minutes before sunrise", Gaspard informed.

„Good", Mathieu stood up and looked at his scout, „have you found our position on the map?"

„No, on the map there isn't a single thing marked in this desert. It's just a huge yellow botch. Furthermore, I have no idea in which direction those underground corridors took us because the compasses weren't working", Gaspard explained.

„Alright", his leader accepted his nescience, „You all have twenty minutes to get ready for the day. Gaspard, when the sun's up the two of us will determine our route for today"

„Yes, sir"

His teammates all busied themselves and he decided to help Etienne with changing his bandages. Gaspard winced when he removed the soaked dressings reopening the wounds in the process. He had to give credit to Etienne as he didn't make a single sound. Gaspard himself would probably bawl his eyes out.

He had an embarrassingly low tolerance for pain. And he wished he wouldn't have been so overeager to take over their medic's work. Elodie could probably have done this without hurting their patient.

„I'm sorry", he apologized as he reopened an especially nasty gash.

„It's fine", Etienne assured him, „It's my own fault"

„Why would you think that?", Gaspard was bewildered.

„Because Elodie and I were too shy to teach you proper first aid during the war", Etienne admitted, „and during the aftter-war period we kind of forgot that you were the only one who didn't have any knowledge on that topic..."

...because you wouldn't have needed it if everything had gone according to plan was left unsaid.

The atmosphere immediately took a turn for the dark and Gaspard got lost in thought. He knew that nobody expected him to come back from his last mission but to think that others would avoid him even before that was a strange feeling.

„Urgh, now it's my turn to apologize", Etienne tried to cheer him up, „Please don't be sad. I don't know how to react to that. If you want you can punch me. Elodie always does that when I say something inappropriate"

Gaspard had to fight a smile at that. „Elodie would kill me if I punched you at the moment. I can already imagine her complaints about how I messed up her almost recovered patient"

„Ah, yes. I forgot about that. But you could keep an account of all the punches you owe me and return them later when I'm well again"

„We'll see about that", Gaspard winked at him and then remembered that nobody paid them any mind at the moment, „Say, Etienne, did you find Manon's behaviour yesterday strange as well?"

„Manon?", Etienne confirmed, „No, not really. She's always been one to get upset fast. And there's one thing in the whole world she truly cares about. And that's Mathieu. I believe she only tolerates us because our leader cares about us. She herself couldn't care less. Add to that her aversion of strangers. Lina's presence probably really grated her nerves and she just wants to make sure that she doesn't come back. Years ago, I decided for myself to stay on her good side and nothing has happened so far. So it should be okay"

„Do you think we should talk to Mathieu about this?", Gaspard voiced his thoughts.

Etienne's eyes widened. „To Mathieu? Are you crazy? If Manon caught wind of that, she'd flip! Just forget about this. Nothing further will come from pursuing this"

„If you say so...", Gaspard gave in.

„Trust me on this", Etienne assured, „After all, I'm also 7 years your senior"