Let Me Sign (Delena)

Heart's A Mess

Selena's POV
   We didn't talk about it, the little situation that happened that morning in the bathroom. In fact, in the following week, it was as if it never happened. Demi and I texted 24/7. At lunch, we talked and laughed about the most irrelevant and stupid things. She even began teaching me how to sign again. At school, it was as if no one else existed. Except, they did.

   And so did their glares and rumors.

   I wasn't accustomed to people questioning my sexuality- not even when I went through that semi-tomboy phase in 7th grade. But, my peers were starting to do nothing but stop and stare whenever Demi and I would walk the halls. At first, I let it go unnoticed. People always had something to say about mine and Demi's friendship. But, their remarks slowly progressed from 'the deaf girls first friend' to 'the deaf girls fruitcake'.

   Demi didn't seem phased by it. That may have had a little bit to do with the fact that she couldn't hear most of what they were saying, but from their body language, I'm sure she had a clue. The rumor around the school was basically that I, being confused about my sexuality, settled for Demi,the 'desperate deaf girl'. Yet, she didn't care.

   Did I care? I don't really know. But I do know that it made me uncomfortable. Not that I had anything against homosexuals. Hell, I'm from New York. And it's not that Demi wasn't desirable in any way. She was. Her deafness did nothing to sway that fact.

   But I wasn't gay.

   'Cupcake,'  Demi wrote on the board. She displayed the writing to me once more before signing what was said to be 'cupcake' multiple times before me.

   We were sitting in the same empty bathroom that we happened to always find ourselves in. Both of us had a free period, so we decided to make use of it with a sign language lesson. The restroom was not the ideal place, but people would bother us anywhere else.

   I shook my head and took the white board in my hands. 'Nuh-uh, I'm pretty sure that was "cup",' I wrote to her with a proud look on my face.

   She looked at me like I was stupid.

   'Are you really questioning me on ASL?' she signed.

   I laughed. It had actually been ridiculous. If anyone knew the rights and wrongs of sign language, it would be a deaf person. Who was I to be questioning her?

   Questioning. Confused. It reminded me of the letter Jennifer had written to Demi about me being confused about my sexuality. Everything reminded me of that letter, of this whole situation. I don't know why it bugged me, but it did.

   Was there something that screamed "gay" about me? Did Demi and I have "lesbian lovers" written on our backs? Why did people just assume? Did they see something that I didn't?

   Two fingers snap before my eyes. I'd zoned out again, for the hundredth time today.

Demi's POV

      'Where are you at, Lena?'
   I'd started calling her that sometime after we made up. To be honest, I used the nickname in every situation possible. I hadn't had a friend to give a nickname to in years. Selena didn't seem to mind either. In fact, she loved it.

   'My fault, I'm just thinking. Next word?'  she wrote back on the overly used whiteboard.

   'What were you thinking about?' I sign, ignoring her request to move on.

   She looked hesitant. Her teeth subconsciously bit at her bottom lip as she contemplated whether or not to tell me. I tried to ignore it.

   'Nothing.'

   Her chest dramatically went down as she seemed to let out a deep breath.

   'It's bothering you. What is it?'
   Her eyes stared into mine for a few moments, as if she was really struggling with whether or not to tell me. I was going to let it go, tell her that it was okay if she didn't want to talk about certain things with me. It kind of hurt, but I could deal.

   She scooped the whiteboard into her hands before I could though, and began writing at it.

   I stared at her as she wrote. It sounds kind of stalker-like, but it was hard not to stare at Selena. She was undeniably gorgeous. I tried to ignore that as well.

   She read over what she wrote before passing the board over to me.
   'It's just that, no offense at all, but how come this doesn't bother you? The rumors, I mean. You seem completely unphased.'

     She was starting to look nervous simply walking to class with me. Hell, she rarely made eye contact with me around other students. Not to mention the fact that she wanted to come to a bathroom just to talk with me. I knew what people were saying bothered her.

   But it still kind of hurt.

   'That's because it actually doesn't bother me... should it?'
   I was a bit afraid of the answer.

   'I'm not saying that it should. I'm just saying that it does bother me..'
  It shot my hopes down a bit to actually read it.

   'Don't let it. That'll only ruin our friendship. That's what this is. A friendship. You don't have feelings for me, and I don't have feelings for you. We both know that,' I passed her the white board.

   So why did it hurt to put that out there?

   My phone vibrated in my pocket before we could continue the conversation further. Free period was over. Selena stood up, having heard the bell that simultaneously rung.

   She helped me to my feet as we gathered our things. 

   'Walk you to class?'

   I shook my head. I wasn't bitter at all, I just felt like it wasn't doing her any good to be seen with me 24/7. 'No thanks. I'll catch you later?'

   She looked as though she wanted to say something else, but decided against it.

   With a quick hug, we parted ways.

   I tried to ignore the feeling that came along with her touch.

A/N: HOLY SHIT I'M HELLA SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT. HONESTLY, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO POST THIS FOR WEEKS, BUT EXAMS CAME UP AND I'VE BARELY HAD TIME FOR LIFE. THANKFULLY, THIS GRADING PERIOD IS OVER NOW SO I'M BACK TO WRITINF.
  THANK YOU ALL SO FREAKING MUCJ Y'ALL ARE HELLA AMAZINF NEARLY 8K READS? ! WHAT IS THIS I CAN'T FUNCTION I HONESTLY LOVE Y'ALL
   WHAT DO Y'ALL THINK OF DEMI'S POV?!
   STAY PERFECT AND STAY STRONG OK ?!
Oh BTW I'VE STARTES WORKING ON TJE CAMREN FANFIC <3
I CURRENTLY CAN NOT TYPE