A New Dream

What If...?: Paul's POV

Pain. Desperation. Fear. Loneliness. Determination. Pleading. Hope. As I watched Dawn's final performance those were the words that came to my mind. Dawn looked like a mythical goddess as she danced powerfully to the song, matching the intensity of the vocalist perfectly. I didn't know when I had stood up, but the gasps and cheers from the audience faded into the background as I watched her. For the first time, I didn't try to analyze the power of her pokemon's moves as she danced, but instead focused entirely on her.

When the song slowed and she pantomimed shooting her pokemon and herself, I felt a sharp pain rip through me at the analogy. As she reached her hand out plaintively during the words "my love won't change" I knew that she hadn't seen where I was, but I also knew without a doubt that if she'd seen me she would be staring right into my eyes. 

Confusion and guilt roiled inside me as Dawn's pokemon unleashed a powerful combination of Dazzling Gleam and Earth Power while perfect copies of her three pokemon swirled around Dawn in intricate patterns. But even though there was so much to look at, I couldn't tear my eyes away from Dawn and the pain that seemed to be bubbling up from her soul and lashing out through her dance moves.

That pain is my fault, I thought as she ended her performance by turning her head away from the audience. I saw her swipe a finger against her cheek and wondered how someone as good and amazing as Dawn could cry from being apart from me. 

It's my mom all over again, I thought with despair.

"Wow, that was amazing! Dude, can you imagine if that little Ribombee used a Dazzling Gleam attack that strong against a dragon type? It'd faint in a heartbeat!" Ash yelled over at me.

Suddenly the cheers and catcalls from the crowd came back into the foreground of my attention. I was about to turn and say something in response but then I felt it. Dawn's eyes focused on mine and for a few heartbeats, it was like we were the only two people in the world. Keanu's amplified voice pulled us out of the trance we had fallen into and Dawn looked away from me. I clenched my hands into fists, shocked to feel that they were actually shaking a bit.

"Are you okay, Paul?" 

Glancing down I met Serena's crystal blue eyes and an irrational desire to shake her gripped me as I recognized concern in her expression. I wanted to yell at her and tell her that she should be concerned about her friend on the stage that I was making miserable and not me. My feelings didn't matter right now. But she kept looking at me in that disarming way and I couldn't handle it anymore.

"I'll be back," I growled, turning and shoving my way past the people who were still cheering for Dawn as she took her last bow and began exiting the stage. 

I was amazed at the strength of the urge that gripped me to run over to Dawn and wrap her in my arms, to tell her that I would do anything in the world to keep her from crying in the future... But she didn't look back as she left the stage and I turned my attention back to my path, shoving people out of my way if they didn't move fast enough.

By the time I finally left the stadium seats behind me Traavi had come onto the stage and released his Marowak, Talonflame, and to my surprise a Vikavolt. Seeing the menacing bug type made me remember when Dawn and I left the Hokulani Observatory and she complained about vikavolts being creepy. The thought of her adorable smile as she tried to defend her opinion flooded my mind and made me clench my teeth. I purposefully made my way towards the main aether foundation building and followed the signs for the guest bathroom.

Again and again, I splashed water over my face as I tried to snap myself back to reality. It seemed that I was the only one who didn't care about the other performers because the bathroom I was in was completely empty, which I was grateful for. It felt like the lyrics of the song that Dawn had danced to were bouncing around in my skull, fighting for me to analyze and think about them.