What Lasts in Us

CHAPTER NINETEEN

He laid claim to the master bedroom because it's on the ground floor and right near the front door – so if anyone tried to get in, they had to go through him first. Which is fine with me. I have the bedroom next to the one Emmi occupies.

I aim my torch at Nate, the light hitting his pale and clammy face, the rest of his body lost amongst the sea of blankets. But he's already awake, eyes blinking against the light. Dog, after spending so much time with me over the past week, jumps onto the bed like the traitor he is, and snuggles into Nate's side. Like we hadn't bonded at all.

"What?" Nate demands. He blinks and turns his face away from the light. "Get the torch off my face."

I aim the light lower, which ends up being a bad idea. He's shirtless. 

I prop his rifle against the door. "We need to get moving," I say. I swallow and keep my eyes focussed on his face. "We've been here far too long."

"How long's it been?"

"A week."

Nate scrubs a hand over his face. "Fuck." He absently pets Dog with his free hand; the puppy responds by rolling onto his back, wanting his tummy scratched.

"You were dead to the world."

"Doesn't matter."

I sigh. "Where were you heading next – before shit hit the fan."

"Raleigh."

"Raleigh?" I pause. That can't be right. "Raleigh's a quarantine zone."

"I know that."

"So why–"

"Raleigh was always our destination," Nate says. Even in the dark I can feel his blue eyes on me. "We've just been waylaid."

"But Raleigh's a QZ," I try again. I know he isn't stupid, and I definitely know he's not ignorant. "Once you're in, they won't let you out."

"That's what they tell you," Nate replies.

I'm not in the mood for his games. "And what's in Raleigh?"

"HALO."

He can't be serious.

I roll my eyes. "I've been with people from 'HALO' and they aren't who they're cracked up to be. Their preaching leaves a lot to be desired."

"At least they've got some form of jurisdiction."

"They're a law unto themselves," I retort. "They're a dictatorship. And who says they're there, anyway?"

"I need to take Emmi to a safe place – I want her to be able to grow up." He gestures around to me, to him. "She deserves better than this."

Understatement of the year. But I don't think Raleigh's the place to go to achieve that. He won't listen to me, of course, considering everything that's happened between us – and because Emmi is his daughter. He thinks he knows what's best for her, and I can't encroach on that. I can give him my opinion, obviously, but it's up to him whether he acts on it or not.

I take a seat at the end of the bed, the movement seeing Dog yip in surprise to the bed dipping under my weight. He looks at me as if to say, won't you pet me, too? "I think if you're wanting to give Emmi a future, you need to head north," I say. "And by north I mean Canada."

Nate strokes Dog's fur as he eyes me through the semi-darkness. "Fucking Canada my ass."

"Okay, fine," I say, and I scoot closer to him. I'm actually surprised he doesn't try to move away from me, or at least tell me to stay away. Nope, he doesn't move an inch, probably because he's gotten over what happened between us. I, however, am still relatively pissed off. "Or we could go south, like Texas, or maybe even Florida. Maybe we could hole up in Harry Potter World."