My Golden Life

Chapter 21

The hours slowly ticked by, and before long, the sun slowly began to disappear from the sky. And in its place rose a brightly glistening moon that offered the only light in the dungeon, broken by the grating high above us. Our cell was dingy and cold, we were all secured to the wall, our hands chained either side of us. Except for Donkey, he had it worse as he was upside down the whole time. That might explain why he was screaming and yelling for what felt like hours. 

I did try to calm him down, but clearly, nothing helped. There was another window that was across from us, and we could see the castle, and from the flashing lights surrounding it, we realised that the celebration for Shrek and Fiona's wedding had started. Shrek was trying his best to break free, but he was tightly secured onto the wall, and I could see the frustration in his face.

"You can't lock us up like this! Let me go!" Donkey shouted out. "What about my Miranda rights? You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. Nobody said I have the right to remain silent!"

"Donkey, you have the right to remain silent," Shrek yelled back. "What you lack is the capacity."

"Don't think he'll ever gain the capacity of being silent." I sighed.

"I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad," Puss said to himself.

"Shrek? Donkey? Katie?"

We all looked up, and to our shock, we saw Gingy, Pinocchio, Big Bad Wolf, the three blind mice and the three pigs staring down at us. How they had managed to not only get to Far Far Away but locate us as well baffled me, but I didn't care at that moment. All I was thankful for was that we were going to some serious help.

"Gingy! Pinocchio! Get us out of here!" Shrek yelled up to them.

It was like a full-on stealth mission; they had fitted small bombs onto the grating and had blown it wide open. It was pretty cool if you ask me. Pinocchio then used his puppet strings to gracefully glide down to us. I saw 'gracefully,' but it ended up with him getting totally tied up. Gingy had to slide all the way down to him, and then the next issue hit us. How was he going to reach us and unlock our chains?

"Quick! Tell a lie!" Shrek said.

"What should I say?" Pinocchio asked.

"Anything, but quick!" Gingy added.

"It has to be weird," I said.

"Say something crazy like 'I'm wearing ladies' underwear!' Donkey exclaimed.

"I'm wearing ladies' underwear." Pinocchio stuttered.

We all then stared at him questionably.

"Are you?" Shrek asked.

"I most certainly am not!" Pinocchio said. His nose started to suddenly grow longer.

"Oooo looks like someone's lying." I laughed.

"I'm not, though." He snapped, his nose grew yet again.

"It looks like you most certainly am are!" Donkey smirked.

"What kind?" Puss asked.

"It's a thong!" Gingy laughed as he pulled Pinoccino's pants to reveal the bright pink underwear.

"Oww! They're briefs!" Pinocchio insisted.

"Are not," Gingy said.

"Are too!" Pinocchio argued back.

The more he lied, the more his nose kept growing, till it was at a length where Gingy could walk along it and reach our chains. Eventually, we were all freed and on our feet. It was such a relief to be out of those stupid chains and move my hands around. I then looked around and spotted Puss attempting to try and eat one of the blind mice. I just gave him a disgusted look. Shrek saw this as well and didn't approve of it at all. He yelled at him to let the mouse go, and Puss immediately spat him out.

"Quit messing around! We've got to stop that kiss!" Shrek exclaimed.

"Wait, hold up." I interrupted. "I thought you were going to let her go."

"I was," He huffed. "But I can't let them do this to Fiona."

"Boom!" Donkey yelled. "That's what I like to hear. Look who's coming around!"

"But it's impossible!" Puss said. "We'll never get in. The castle's guarded, and there's a moat and everything!"

As much as I didn't approve of Puss's pessimism, he did have a point. The area would be totally surrounded by hundreds of guards, more than we could takedown. Plus, I don't think that they would be too pleased to see that we had just escaped jail.

"Well, folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick," Gingy whined, jumping onto the ledge of the window.

I turned to Shrek who was oddly staring at Gingy for some reason, by the look on his face I had a pretty good feeling that he was coming up with an idea.

"What?" Gingy asked Shrek.

"Do you still know the Muffin Man?"

"Well, sure! He's down on Drury Lane. Why?"

"Because we're gonna need flour," Shrek smirked. "Lots and lots of flour."

I had no idea what Shrek meant by this but little did I know, he had just come up with a plan. A pretty huge one, in fact. I knew that this would undoubtedly take the guards by surprise. And possibly shock too.