a fallen angel | tyler joseph

seven: ruby

the next day i avoid tyler, not wanting to discuss yesterdays incident.
    "ruby!"  a voice from behind me calls.
i turn around to see tyler.
    "hey,"  i say, forcing a fake smile.
    "how're you doing today?" he asks.
    "fine, sorry about what happened yesterday." 
    "no! don't apologize, do you want to talk about it? you seemed pretty distressed.." 
    "no, i'm fine as i said. can we just forget about it?" i snap.
    "um yeah sure. sorry for asking. see you around ruby." he says walking off looking pretty defeated. 
i shouldn't have been so nasty to him, i should have told him about what happened. he's my friend and here i am pushing him away..

--

TW- blood/ mentions of self harm

at lunch i sit alone and watch tyler from across the dining hall, he's sitting with his friend josh and laughing. he seems carefree and happy, i don't need to pester him with my past and what i saw. he'll probably laugh in my face and say i'm a liar like everyone else. what's the point in having a therapist when all they do is treat you like a baby who knows nothing in this world.
i look down at my wrists and the bandages that still cover them. i close my eyes and all i see is the blood, it's everywhere all over my bathroom walls and floor. it looked like a murder scene.

      "miss? you have a visitor." a nurse says, making me open my eyes to see my mother standing across from me with a weak smile on her face.
the nurse walks away.
       "mum? what are you doing here?" i ask confused.
       "i wanted to see how you're doing. how is it in this place?" she asks, sitting down.
       "when can i go home? i don't like it in here!" i say totally ignoring her question.
       "when you're better ruby. you... y-you're sick my dear. they're going to help fix you." 
       "no! this place makes it worse you don't understand i need to leave! I'M NOT SICK!" i say standing up and throwing my tray of food onto the floor which makes my mum flinch.
i suddenly feel two pairs of arms wrap around me and begin to pull me away. 
        "GET OFF ME! STOP! LET ME GO!" i yell and scream, thrashing around in their grip.
by this time everyone is looking at me, some of the patients are beginning to cry and scream too. in all the chaos i see tyler, his eyes looking deeply into mine as he mouths "don't".
i kick and scream as the nurses' grip becomes tighter on me. my mother has tears in her eyes as she says goodbye to me and watches as i'm dragged away.
         "NO MUM! PLEASE!" i plead with her but it's no use.
i feel a sharp pinch in the side of my neck and the room begins to spin. i look over at another nurse who is holding a needle and i try to wriggle out of the other nurse's grips but it's no use. my body begins to feel numb and my vision begins to fade.