My Best Friend's Brother (PLL: A Jaria story)

Chapter 5:

I couldn't help it. I loved Ezra... but I didn't like the constant hiding of our relationship. We agreed to start telling people, yet it felt like we were going backwards, not forwards.

But I wanted people to know about us for another reason too... I just felt like our relationship was going nowhere. All we did was hide it really and by hiding it, it causes so many lies and secrets. And believe me, I have a lot on my plate already. When I was with him, I had to lie to everyone.

Not to mention, we stayed at his apartment all the time.

But I wanted to make it work... after all, we had so much in common. And again, I loved him... right? He was perfect. How could I not?

Ezra sighed, obviously seeing the displeasure I had in his attempt to ease people to the idea of us. "Look I really did come here to see you, to take the next step. It just wasn't the right time..." He explained, slightly narrowing his eyes, as if trying to see if I understood.

"When do you know when the right time will be, Ezra? Next year, when I graduate? When I go to college? Do you think waiting till then will make it easier to tell people we have been lying to them the whole time," I retorted. I couldn't help getting angry at his response. I just hated the hiding.

Maybe because I wanted to know if our relationship was even going anywhere.

"We keep... saying we're going to move forward and dip our toes in the pool but-" I started but my voice slightly trailed off as I looked away.

"Aria, telling your parents is not toe-dipping. Its a cannonball..." Ezra blinked as if I didn't get it.

As if I didn't know what he was saying.

There was silence for a bit. He was right. Perhaps today wasn't the best day. After all it was a funeral, but... I really wanted comfort from him today.

I sighed before looking back up at him. "I know this isn't anyone's fault... but that doesn't change the fact that I really needed a hug from you today. Not back at your apartment, or later in Hollis... but right now..." I confessed. As I said those words I felt vulnerable. My chest felt heavy. 

He took a small step towards me and looked at him a little hopefully that this was it. But he took a look away, back at my parents talking to his colleagues.

"I'll... call you later..." Ezra said instead, taking a step back and turning away, starting off, not even taking a look back at my vulnerable state.

I felt defeated, and a little upset that he didn't try to make the effort on our relationship. It hurt. He cared about what other people thought.

I never cared what other people thought.

Then again, this is the same girl who dyed her hair pink strips. I was used to being an outcast

I tried to understand him. He was still a teacher, he had a reputation to uphold. But still... it just made me feel that his reputation and his character, were holding our relationship back, keeping us from taking the next step. There were always these obstacles in our way.

And made me lose hope in our relationship.

I turned around, my gaze slightly flattered before I saw Jason, still sitting on his own. I remembered he was here, and started to walk over like I planned to do, thankful that he had earbuds so he didn't have to witness the little quarrel I had with Ezra.

"Hey," I said, standing by him.

Jason looked up, the sun shining into his green eyes and unruly golden hair. He squinted to see who it was. Once he saw it was me though. He smiled a charming smile, relieved. "Hey," he greeted.