Red And Black [AU] - ON HIATUS

Insomnia

Adrien's POV

Camyla and I got home around 11, the ride was silent. No one dared to ask the other anything no matter how many questions we had in our heads, we let our silence speak for itself. I could tell that my sister was dying to know what connection I had with her patient but kept quiet because she simply respected others' privacy. That's one of the things I love about her. She never pushed people around or threatened to pass the boundaries. I still can't believe what has happened to Marinette over the years but I couldn't have asked for someone better to look after her, someone that I both trust and love.

But no matter how smart Camyla was, what a respectful persona she had, I doubt that she would be able to change Marinette. I wanted to be positive but reality took advantage of me and I couldn't deny the truth. Just seeing what she'd become broke me, it shattered me to the very core. I agreed to come back for multiple reasons but one of them was to find her, I missed her. Imagine my shock when I found her, but in an asylum for insane criminals. All this arranged by fate.

I tossed and turned on my bed, unable to fall asleep; my mind kept on telling me one thing, now isn't the time for sleep. I'd developed a huge sleep problem when my mother disappeared and I was diagnosed with mild insomnia a short while after. And the thoughts in my head weren't really helping with my situation. It was 2 a.m. and I was kind of jealous of Camyla for being able to actually get some rest, after all, it has been quite the day. She offered me to stay with her and I agreed, happy that I wouldn't have to stay in some hotel with my bodyguard monitoring my every move. The fact that we had to share the same bed didn't bother us much either since we were family and her bed was huge, but that didn't stop me from trying to lighten up the mode with a failed attempt of a joke or two.

I stared at the clock and watched as the seconds tick by, wondering if Marinette was doing the same.

Marinette.

She was in my head, there was no denying it. I missed her. of course I did, she was the only friend I ever had, only real friend I've ever had. I missed everything about her, the way her hair always got in her face and her rambling about it, the way she'd always find a way to fix things even if it got her into trouble, her bubbly personality, the way she'd smile even when things got tough; but all that was gone now. It's all replaced with this cold, distant, emotionless, merciless psychopath. She was so different that I wondered if I'd accidentally thought it was her and was just seeing things, but the fact that she knew me too eliminated that possibility. Still, I couldn't help but hope, hope that this was all just a dream or better yet, a nightmare. Just a few shadows playing with your mind in the dim of night and attacking it with your inner fears that no one can save you from, no one but yourself.

It was now 2:30 and I'd already accepted the fact that I probably wouldn't get any sleep tonight. Suddenly, I remembered something and I grinned. Slowly, I rummaged through my bag and found it, Marinette's sketchbook.

Back in our childhood, Marinette loved to draw and design. She had the passion and the skill too. She'd carry her sketch book everywhere she went, it was her prized possession unlike other kids who's most important childhood memory were teddy bears. She was always different, the good kind but unfortunately I couldn't say the same now. I went back to the time when I saw her running through the field, tears in her eyes. It was a truly heartbreaking sight, she never cried. I was about to run after her but then she stopped and just stood there, so did I.

Suddenly, her prized possession went flying through the field, landing near my feet. I automatically picked it up, trying to process what on earth just happened. She started punching the tree and I ran towards her but couldn't say anything. She never, not even until now, told me why she was so upset but I didn't care; I just wanted it to go away, she didn't deserve that feeling, that feeling that there was nothing left for her anymore. I could see through her, not an ounce of happiness left. I tried to help her and I thought that I really did, until I saw what she'd become and realized that as a friend, someone who was supposed to be there for her; I failed.

The pages of her book was filled with beautiful, colouful designs, that was her. She always saw the world in colour. She had an open mind, the world was her canvas; it was empty. I wondered what colours she saw now, black? white? Didn't matter. She didn't seem like a girl of black and white anymore, of wrong and right, of definitions. My only guesses were that she still was but decided to follow the black or that she finally found the greys.

A slip of paper caught my attention. It was folded and pressed up against the pages. I never noticed it but that was because this was the second time I've ever opened it. I took it hesitantly and slowly, I unfolded it.

I can't believe it
My parents aren't going to be together anymore, why?
I'm staying with mama but I'm going to miss papa so much.
I cannot believe that I'm losing them...
At least I'll still have Adrien, I hoped so much that he'll always be there and I don't want to put my hopes up but I trust him...he's my best friend. He's always there for me and it will stay that way forever, right?

My lips parted out of sadness and pure anger. Sadness that Marinette had to go through all this and anger because I was mad at myself, I promised that I'd always be there but I wasn't, I lied, in that moment, I hated myself. She was going through so much and even though I didn't know that at the time, the least I could've done was stand by her. She was slowly falling into a pit of darkness and instead of being there to reel her out, I left her on her own. I thought that she was strong enough to help herself but I was wrong. I didn't know for sure if what happened to her was my fault but I'm blaming myself anyway. I could've helped, but I didn't.

The paper was wet and that confused me but then I realized that I was crying.

Don't cry Adrien, crying is for the weak. Are you weak?

You are a man, son. Act like one.

This will ruin your image, if you must cry, make sure no one sees you do it, understood?

My father's words echoed through my head and I swiftly wiped away the tears. His words stung, it hurt and I wondered, did Marinette have to go through any of this? It would explain a lot but I hoped that she didn't because I myself know how much it hurts and it's unbearable. But what else could turn her into this monster? What else other than hurtful words?

In that moment, I knew what I needed to do. I got up, grabbed the keys to Camyla's car and her asylum pass before leaving the apartment. I quickly checked my watch and headed to the parking lot. I knew what I needed to do, I needed to see Marinette, I needed to apologize. Even if it was going to take all night, but I didn't care. I couldn't sleep anyways. So if anyone accused me of being out of my mind to go visit an insane criminal in the dim of night, I'll just blame it on my insomnia.