enchanting | WN

the night i lost

"Okay," I say, barely hearable.

"Good," my brother sighs. "We'll send you the tickets and some information, okay? I love you."

"I love you," I whisper, shedding one last tear.

He ends the call after that, leaving me with silence. One by one, my emotions starts to come back. The first and most palpable one is fear, then it's sadness, anger, shock and panic.

Hearing the door open behind me, I don't know if I wanna turn around and see who it is or just rush out of the room right away. I can't handle facing the other's at this state, they'd ask to much and I'd have to few answers.

Thinking that it's probably just a cleaner, I turn around. Though, the person leaning against the wall is William. His jaw is clenched as he stares at the floor, not even glancing up at me.

"What did I tell you?" He suddenly mutters under his breath. "I'm a fucking disappointment."

Stressfully looking around me, I try my best to come up with my first sentence.

"You're not gonna say anything?" William spits out, this time with his eyes on me. "Tell me that there's lots of years to come and that I didn't just ruin the entire game out there, just like the others told me?"

His tone has started to become more aggressive, it just makes me even more scared. "We have to leave," I say.

He stares at me, his eyes much darker than I remember them. "You're kidding, right? You know that I can't leave now!"

He turns around, pulling a hand through his hair in a try to calm himself down.

Instead of pure silence, it's like I can actually hear the seconds passing by. And as the time flies by, the chances to get to my dad in time reduces.

"Please, William!" I try to raise my voice, clear desperation pushing the words out. "It's important, very important, and-"

"What the hell is so important though?" He suddenly bursts out, turning around to face me. "What can possibly be more important than me right now?!"

Biting my lip as tears are streaming down my face, I shake my head. "You don't understand, it's about my family."

"And what about mine?!" He yells, making me take a step back. "What about you being by my side as I face my family, see the disappointment in their eyes? You have no idea how it feels when I look into my dads eyes, after proven him that I'm not and never will be half of what he was."

Just by hearing the word 'dad' stresses me out. I should be with him, and not here arguing with a guy about things that can be solved later.

"You're just like everyone else," William continues, laughing ironically by himself. "I've told you about my every thought and feeling, but at the end of the day, you don't give a shit! At the end of the day, you just leave."

Seeing his hurt expression makes me feel a new kind of pain, besides the one that already was filling my heart. "No, Willy, you know that's not true."

Taking a step closer to him again, I try to catch his eyes. Though when he finally looks at me again, it is with pure desperation. "If I mean as much to you as you mean to me, you'll tell me what's going on. You'll tell me why we have to leave and I'll go with you without further questions. If you don't tell me anything, I think your feelings towards me are clear."

He stares deeply into my eyes, making everything much more overwhelming than it already is. My heart will probably explode any second now, and I'm just waiting for it to happen.

His behavior is actually scaring me a little. It's not like him to act this offensive, to try to push things out of me that I'm not ready to say. Because that's the thing, I'm not ready.

I guess that he realizes the same thing as his expression goes blank. Nodding a little by himself, it feels like I've slapped him a million times just by staying silent.

"Right," he mutters by himself, while I'm completely out of things to say. "Leave."

"William.." I start, taking a step towards him.

"I said leave!" He bursts out, making me jump back in fear. "Leave and take your shitty friend with you, okay?! I don't want people like you in my life, I've got enough of fake girls around me already!"

For the first time during our argument, what he says actually makes me angrier. "How could you say that?" I spit, my eyes watery.

"At least I'm honest," he mutters, no regret at all in his voice. "I tell you what's going on, while you just shut up once it gets deep."

I'm a millisecond from screaming at him when I bite my lip instead, realizing that to keep on arguing wouldn't help me at all right now. And to be honest, he isn't wrong in what he's telling me, the thing is that it still hurts so much to hear.

Turning around I finally take my first steps towards the exit. He swears behind me, if it's meant for me or himself, I don't know.

It's not until I cross the doorway that my tears start streaming again. I guess that's because I realize now that he's actually meaning what he said back there. He's not stopping me, he's not coming after me, and my broken heart minces into even tinier pieces as I step into the taxi on my own.