second skin

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it never stops hurting
             does it?
always being second best,
             and never the first.

you keep letting people in though,

knowing damn well how
it'd all play out in the end.

why is that?

why do you keep giving
people chances when
you know you'll only
end up disappointed?

why do you keep letting
people in when you know
they're only going
to walk out on you?

really, why is that?

with the number of people
that has left your side,
you ought to know better by now.

i know you do.

yet you keep letting people in,
expecting a different
outcome every time,
convincing yourself that
they're not like the rest,
when they're exactly the same.

so really, you've got no one
to blame but yourself.

and so when someone leaves,
you're not even mad at them
for walking out the door anymore,
you're only mad at yourself
for having it open in the first place.

and so when someone leaves,
you're not even surprised anymore
because deep down, you saw it coming,
you just refused to accept it.

and so when someone leaves,
it just stops hurting,
because you're just so used to this
same old feeling of emptiness.

-you wear pain like it's a second skin.

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