Checkmate (BuckyBarnes x OC)

Bits and Pieces

I managed to escape from his sight and returned to the kitchen where I quickly turned off the spaghetti and poured the water out of the pot. The hot steam that came rushing in my face only made it more hot than it was. How and why the hell did this uneccessary tention always happened between us when we either sparred or had an argument? I couldn't understand his mind. He was the only man I've ever been with and I had a feeling he remembered that pleasurable night we've experienced years back. I was scared of his touch, I was scared it might happen again. Back then I was driven by an unknown instinct of wanting to experience pleasure. He was cut off of it for so long, no wonder he was so easy to arouse. Not that I wanted him to get like this, it just happened. And for a short moment I wanted his lips to meet mine, I wanted him to press me tightly to his body and I would let his hands wander around mine. I would let them map every part of my body if he would want to.

But the feeling disappeared for unexplained reasons. I have changed, I had standards on how these type of things should happen and it wasn't like that. I decided I wouldn't let my sex drive to control me like it just did.

Bucky walked in through the door. I glanced at him. There was no denial the man was dreamy. I don't remember ever liking anyone before, I guess that's how it feels like. Like a poisoned bottle of dark red strawberry juice.

I prayed he wouldn't start a topic on what just happened. "Katrina, do you remember.." God, here it comes. "...that one night..." Yep, right there. "...we spent in that cottage in the woods?" And here it is.

"I remember, Bucky," I nodded in response, still denying to look him straight in the eye.

"Did you... enjoy it?" He asked shyly.

I buried my face in my palms before collapsing it completely on the counter between my elbows, my knees knelt down. "Could you not make me feel this way for one second?" I groaned in my hands.

"What? I didn't understand what you said, Katrina."

Of course he didn't. I lifted my face up and met his face close, before saying, "Why do you keep doing this? What do you get from it?"

He smirked, "Your true reaction."

I wanted to slap him across the face in this moment, I really did, but he stopped my hand flying towards him. I pulled it from his grip and scowled at him. His face was telling me he was content with how I reacted and I hated the fact that he was right. Why did he do this, though? Why was he messing with me the way he was?

"Listen, I'll let you stay here, but you gotta stop doing this. I thought you were broken literally moments ago and now you're already making moves all over. I'm scared of emotions right now, Bucky. I don't want to fall in their arms until I know I can fully control the fall."

He didn't respond. That was my que to finish the dinner. I grated a whole lot of cheese into the pot and mixed it together, getting a greasy mix of my two favorite foods. God, I love mac'n'cheese. I pulled out two plates and set it on the table. I motioned for Bucky to come sit down and he did as told.

We ate in silence. I mostly looked down on my plate during the meal. After he'd finished his lunch he volunteered to clean up the dishes while I decided to go and call Natasha. I just hoped she would be free to talk. I didn't know if I should tell her about Bucky. It seemed like the right thing to do, but they had already so many other stuff going on and I still wanted to find my father before Steve would fly Bucky back to the States. I knew he would want to keep Bucky close, but I wasn't prepared to give him up just yet. I've only just found him. It was selfish of me, but at the end of the day the only person I could truly take care of was myself.