Checkmate (BuckyBarnes x OC)

Made of Fears

After I emptied out the dishwasher I decided to tidy the counter too. While I was wiping it with a damp dishrag I heard the Avengers discussing their research. I frowned slightly, they all had a purpose for being here. I was only living in the Tower because I had no other place to go and no other people in my life than them. I loved the team, I really did, but I felt useless when they were working hard to protect people and all I did was cleaning up after them like their mother. It was times like these that made me remember that I still had a family somewhere out there that probably didn't even know I existed.

I threw the rag in the sink and walked out of the kitchen towards my room. It was around 11pm and I was worn out, but I knew if I went to rest now I simply wouldn't be able to fall asleep anytime soon. So I decided to burn a bit more of my energy in the gym. I walked to my closet and put on a pair of black leggings with white stripes that went along my legs and a dark green tank top with straps that tied around my back and left an open back. My hair was already set in a messy ponytail, so I just let it be. I put on my sneakers and grabbed a bottle of water while on my way out. Just after I closed the door and turned to the hall I bumped into Natasha. She had a concerned look in her eyes. I knew she didn't want me to overwork myself with excercising, but it burned my worries away especially when I couldn't sleep. When I first came here the gym was all I knew. I felt at home there and was occupying myself with different equipment every day. At first Natasha was with me all the time to monitor my behaviour but she quickly decided I was good on my own. Right after she declared I could be left alone training I passed out and wasn't found until Steve walked down to find me unconscious on the yoga mat. I had to admit I haven't been sleeping or eating for almost a week. But I got better after that.

I tried to walk past her as if wouldn't notice anything about the glance she was giving me, but she stopped me by grabbing my elbow.

"Going down to the gym again? Don't you think you had enough for today?" she asked politely. I remembered I was with her in the shooting area of the gym earlier where I practiced my aim in sharpshooting and she decided to join me. But after she'd finished with her practice I stayed for hours after she'd left to train. Of course I couldn't judge her for trying to keep me out of the gym.

"You don't need rest, why should I need it? It's not like I'm doing much anyway.." I mumbled under my breath and looked sharply in her eyes.

"Trust me when I say I wish I'd have an opportunity to take a nice long nap, but I-"

I cut her off. "-have a job to do. I know. A job I'm not allowed to join in on."

"You know it's not like that, Katrina. It's just that Fury doesn't think you're ready for it yet."

I knitted my fists together. "I don't care about that old man's opinion. I could help. I've been here long enough and besides it's not like you guys are very subtle about what you're working on day and night."

She laid her hand on my shoulder to which I flinched, but her touch calmed me down unexpectedly. I closed my eyes and took a breath. She didn't deserve to be scolded because of my jealousy. "I'm sorry.." I murmured and looked at her once more. I forever cursed myself for my temper and I wanted her to notice my regret.

I noticed a faint smile formed on her lips. "It's alright, Kat. You know if it was up to me I'd make you an Avenger immediately."

"So does that mean I'm allowed to leave now?" I asked her beggingly.

She wasn't sure of what to say to me, but she could see I wasn't just gonna go back to my room because she told me so. She sighed, "Go on." I left her with a smile and walked to the elevator where I pressed the button for the gym floor.