As Real as it Gets

Ricks Will be Ricks (Chapter 11, Part 4)

"I wish there was something I could do. You seem like a very good person." The bowl-cut Rick made known.

You smiled, "Thank yo- "

You were interrupted by a small group of Ricks that seemed to have nothing better to do than to stick their noses into someone else's business, "Hey Doofus, you got a girlfriend?" They laughed and turned to you, "You know this guy eats his own shit, right?"

"I told you, I don't do that! Leave me alone!" The Rick sitting across the table held his head in his hands.

"Ha ha! It's too easy. You're a fucking failure of a Rick." They mocked, "I can't believe you have such a high-end job."

"Take your dreadful selfishness and insecurities elsewhere, you're not welcome here." You barked.

"Fine, whatever. Sensitive much?" They turned around and left wile murmuring something angrily.

You watched them get out of the restaurant before your attention returned to the Rick sitting across from you. "Such assholes." You commented quietly.

"They never stop, I can never get used to it."

"You shouldn't get used to it. You're better than them so don't let them fuck with you." As much as you wanted to continue chatting with the kindhearted Rick, you felt like you needed to go back to your 'date' before he gets suspicious.

"Wait!" He said, "Will we see each other again?"

You smiled, "I hope so."

-

The well dressed Morty straightened his tie, "This is taking way too long." He pulled out his phone and called the last Rick who hadn't been killed by the security robots. "Where is she?!" He whisper-yelled at the phone, "She's with you in the Citadel? Good, then bring her here already." The Morty's eyes widened as he listened to the phone, "You're on a date with her?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" he smashed his glass on the floor, "I don't want to hear it!... No!... Bring- bring her here! Right now! I want to see her right here- in front of me!"

Your Rick was confused like never before, trying to understand your plan and even becoming slightly jealous.

-

"Who was that?" You asked your 'date' while you were eating your soup.

He looked undeniably worried and anxious, "Uh, I have to take you to the President..."

"Aww, but I don't wanna go." You acted sad, "I'm having such a great time!"

"I know." He smiled at you, he then picked up the phone when it rang again, "Yes?... No, I don't want my head cut off... or my balls... yes, I understand." He hung up and sighed.

You looked at him to see what he was going to do. When he stood up and pulled out the handcuffs you dropped the spoon and started booking it to the door, but he caught you before you could make it. A scream escaped as you fought back. The whole restaurant was disturbed and a lot of noise was made that even people from the street looked in through the windows to see what all the fuss was about.

The Rick trying to handcuff you was suddenly hit in the head with a plate and fell to the ground. You looked around to find the source of the plate-throwing and your gaze fell on your bowl-cut friend. He motioned with his hand to tell you to follow him. Police sirens were heard from outside so you hurried to meet him in the kitchen.

"What now?!" You panicked.

"Follow me!" He ran through the decently sized kitchen and exited through the back door.

You tried to hurry behind him, but were stopped when a hand grabbed you, "You! You caused this ruckus in my restaurant! You clumsy woman!" A Rick with a weird accent and mustache spoke to you.

"How are you Italian?" You were puzzled.

"I can be whatever I want! You donna incompetente!" He yelled.

"I didn't mean to upset you!" You said, "I'm sorry!"

He let go of you and sighed in annoyance, "Can you at least try the pasta sauce?"

You raised an eyebrow, "Sure?" He grabbed a tiny spoon and gave it to you. Having a little taste, you thought for a moment, "I like it, but it's maybe a little too salty."

"MAMMA MIA!" He exclaimed and slammed his hands on the counter, "Se non riesco a preparare un buon sugo per pasta, per cosa vivo?!"

'Doofus' Rick came back for you and pulled you with him through the back exit because the police were getting closer. He closed the door behind you and continued running through the busy streets. You had no idea where you were going, but you were glad you had a friend by your side. The two of you stopped running when the sirens weren't heard anymore.

"Why are you helping me? This isn't your problem, you really don't have to." You said.

"That's what friends are for." He smiled, but his face turned to slight worry, "Are we friends?"

"Fuck yeah, we are!" You exclaimed, "We just gotta figure out how to kill the President. Should be pretty easy."

"The President?" The Rick asked with concern.

"Yeah," you spoke, "Wait, I'll try to call my Rick..." After finding his name in the contacts, your heart skipped a beat when the answering machine informed you the number no longer exists, "Fuck... I can't reach him. The Rick who tried to capture me said that he had to take me to the President, so I'm assuming that's where my Rick is. I wanna get some big-ass guns and some smoke grenades and some regular grenades- "

"How about we just sneak inside?" He suggested.

You sighed, "But that's not as cool! We need to blow their shit up with style, yo!" You regretted your choice of words, "I don't know why I said 'yo'... I'll never say 'yo' again..."

Note: Season 4 trailer just came out!!! It's too good, I can't. When Rick said "First off, I always slay it, Queen." I almost cried.