Through My Eyes

The Beginning

Coming out is never easy. Even if we are already in the new age, still a lot can't understand what it feels like to be different. No one will understand the pain of being rejected by your own family unless you experienced it yourself. I'm sure everyone has their own version but this is how it was for me.

"So B, paano mo nalaman na ganyan ka?" B asked.

I can sense how well she refrains from using the term. It hurts a bit but since I'm not really particular with labels, so I decided to let it go.

"Well, bata pa lang ako B. I know na iba talaga pakiramdam ko eh." I started.

I was in grade 4. All I really care about is going to school, eat, play and sleep. I was carefree and I guess stress-free. Until I recognized a new feeling.

I was catching up with some classmates and we were talking about basketball.

"Mananalo ang Gordon's Gin!" I said proudly to a group of 4 including me.

"Tama! Magaling sila eh!" Gian said who's seating beside me.

"Dad said, they recently won the game and are heading to the finals," Lee said who seating in front of us.

"Pero sabi ng papa, Alaska team namin!" Dee told us.

"Naku wala yan! Talo ng Gordon's Gin yan!" I exclaimed.

"Hindi! Kaya ng Alaska yun..." Dee continued with her eyes who's nearly about to cry.

"Basta, talo ang Alaska, nanood kami ni papa,malakas ang players ng Gordon't Gin!" I proudly announced.

"Hindi!!" Dee shouted.

Gian and Lee laughed at Dee.

"See, kampi kami nila Gian and Lee! Ikaw lang iba Dee!" I said.

Dee looked at me and cried.

I felt bad and so I stood up from my seat and sat next to her.

"Ui, joke lang... Wag ka ng umiyak..." I said as I try to calm her down.

But she continued crying and it was louder this time.

I got worried because we've been classmates for years and it's the first time I witness her cry.

I felt really bad and I wanted to blame myself for making her cry. So I hugged her and whispered, "I'm really sorry Dee... Sige, Alaska na lang din ako...."

She immediately looked at me in disbelief so I responded with an awkward smile and said, "Sorry, bati na tayo. Wag ka na umiyak please..."

I took my handkerchief and wiped her tears as the 2 boys did nothing but observe us.

When she calmed down, I left her as our teacher just came in and began the class.

I wasn't able to focus the entire time and really wanted to make sure that Dee and I are okay. So when we were dismissed for lunch I immediately called her.

"Dee, let's go!" I told her.

"Where are we going?" Dee asked.

"Lunch!" I said then hold her hand as we walk out of the classroom.