Mischief Managed Year One: Mayhem of the Moon

Chapter Five- Hogwarts At Last and a Dismal Train Ride

He was terrified now, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd been around so many people. His head was swimming and his vision blurred with tears. He desperately wanted to go home and hide. Forget Hogwarts! What had he been thinking? He couldn't do this.

He wound his way around people, or tried to. He didn't get far before strong arms picked him up, and he screamed and kicked in protest.

"Remus!" His father's angry shout reached his panicked mind. "Calm down. You are causing a scene and embarrassing yourself!"

Remus went limp, the fear replaced by a sharp shame that was as painful as his father's firm grip.

His father set him down relatively quickly and put two hands on Remus' shoulders, eyes narrowed with irritation and something else he couldn't place.

"I knew this was a bad idea. Let's go home, you can't do this."

He was inclined to agree with his father, especially after humiliating himself in front of who knew how many of his soon-to-be-fellow students. However, he couldn't let Dumbledore down like that, not after he had gone out of his way to make sure Remus had a chance. He knew he didn't deserve one, but he had gotten one and he would be a fool if he threw that away, no matter how rough of a start he faced.

So he squared his shoulders and collected all of the bravery he could into his small quivering frame.

"I'm sorry, Dad. But I am going to Hogwarts. I am going!" He sounded so much more confident than he felt and he must have looked it too, because his father seemed stunned. After all, he wasn't asking his father as he normally did. He was telling him, and he meant it too.

Somehow he must have convinced his father, or perhaps he didn't care enough to start another scene. Soon after a quick "Accio Remus' luggage" his father was ushering him to the other side of the station.

No longer blocked by people he was able to see the Hogwarts express in all its shining glory. The sleek engine billowing puffs of silvery smoke looked just like a little toy model that had been given to him back when Hogwarts was a matter of "when" not "if". He tightened his hold on his luggage and stepped onto the tread board turning around, now standing eye to eye with his father.

He somehow felt braver like this, up high where he couldn't be looked down upon. Also, his father seemed kinder when he wasn't staring down at Remus with a stern gaze. Instead, his father looked rather sad. With a horrifying jolt, Remus realized he hadn't taken his father's feelings about this into account at all.

"Will you be ok?" he asked nervously, suddenly very concerned about his father who would be all alone. Would he remember to eat meals without Remus there? What would happen to him on those few but scary occasions that he passed out drunk before entering the house?

"Don't worry about me. I'm going to go stay with your uncle. If anything, I will be worried about you. You...you'll write, right?"

The shudder that had run through Remus at the mention of his uncle melted into a warm feeling as he realized his father really wanted him to write.

"Yes, I promise, Dad. I will." He smiled as Lyall's hand ruffled his hair. He couldn't be sure, but as he entered the train he thought his father's eyes looked rather damp.

Of course, all thoughts of his father quickly disappeared as he walked past little compartments behind glass doors where people giggled and whispered. He was pretty sure a few even pointed at him! Remus felt himself go really hot and hurried to find some sort of empty room he could claim for his own and fall asleep.

Luckily he found one near the back of the train completely free of any gossiping and giggling children. Remus collapsed onto one of the long benches running parallel to each other. Despite not looking like it, the benches were unbelievably comfy. Worn out in more than one way he drifted off despite himself.