50 shades darker (Christian's story)

Chapter 7

It really pisses me off when Anastasia doesn't obey me. I've been admiring her since I laid my eyes on her for the first time today... seeing all the damage that has been done. That I have caused. I watch as Ana and Jose begin a conversation. I instantly notice the shift of my mood when she's suddenly speaking to him, however, it's nowhere near as intense as to when Jose suddenly sweeps Anastasia into a hug that I know was more than friendly from him. What the fuck?! Is she forgetting that I'm here, watching? This is completely embarrassing and infuriating. If I could I would take her over my knee and spank the shit out of her right here right now.

But you can't...and you won't. Why not?

I ignore my subconscious. Anastasia and I will never have that sort of relationship again. We can't, I can't risk losing her again. My dark thoughts are what get me in trouble most of the time. I act on them. I know it's something I need to work on...hell, what am I thinking? Do I need to change everything about me for her? I don't see that in the cards for her and I. Especially not at the moment. What's taking them so long anyway? 

I start to walk over to them, hoping Ana will notice and untangle from him. As I reach them,   she does just that. Jose looks shocked to see me, just as shocked as I am that he would hold another man's woman the way he did. I can tell that he's about to start talking to me, here we go. 

"Mr. Grey, good evening." 

"Mr. Rodriguez, very impressive." I'm trying my hardest to be as polite as someone like me possibly could. "I'm sorry we can't stay longer, but we need to head back to Seattle. Anastasia?"

I emphasize we hoping she takes the hint. We really do need to go. Mostly so I can show her how mad I really am about what just unfolded in front of me. I take her hand and she says her goodbyes to her friend. She gives him a quick kiss on the cheek, which is enough to tip me past the stage of furious. I have no words to explain the type of anger that's inside me. The last time I felt this sort of anger was during a time I try to forget. Why does she make me feel like this? So angry, yet guilty at the same time. We wouldn't be feeling completely different things if it weren't for what happened, but she asked to see how bad it could get. She asked...

I drag her out of the building considering it's the only way she would have left. I find myself looking for an alleyway to bring her into just to give her what I'm feeling. To show her who is in charge. I head left and sweep her into a side alley I manage to find. 

I push her up against the wall, digging my fingers into her thighs before bringing my hands to her face and forcing her to look into my dark eyes. I feel her breath against mine, quick and hot. I push my lips onto hers and slide my tongue into her mouth, our kissing being desperate. I feel her body become hot against mine, my member pushing up against her thigh. She slides her fingers through my hair and then suddenly pulls, hard. Fuck, I love when she does that. I slide my hand down her cheek, past her neck to her chest. I cup her breast, a small moan escapes her mouth. I feel my member getting harder against her. I really do wish this wasn't happening in an alleyway, otherwise, I would be fucking her right now. I slide my hand down to her thigh and dig my fingers into her soft skin. Her kisses are desperate, she's trying to make up for lost time.

"You. Are. Mine." I pant in-between kissing her. I push her away from me and bend so that my hands are resting on my knees. I'm out of breath from what has just happened. If we continued for any longer, she would be moaning for me to stop right now. 

"For the love of God, Ana." I exclaim, watching her trying to catch her breath. I did that with her. No one else, just me. 

"I'm sorry," she whispers to me. No baby, I'm sorry. 

"You should be. I know what you were doing. Do you want the photographer, Anastasia? He obviously has feelings for you."

I know she's going to deny this. I know she only sees him as a friend. But I need to hear it, I want her to say those words to me. I deserve at least that after the show she put on in his gallery in front of everyone, making a mockery of me. I watch her as she shakes her head and a wave of relief goes through me. 

"I have spent all my adult life trying to avoid any extreme emotion. Yet you...you bring out feelings in me that are completely alien. It's very..." I stop in my tracks. What am I saying? I'm having trouble finding the words to finish this pathetic fucking sentence. That's how I sound. Pathetic. 

"Unsettling. It's unsettling. I like control, Ana, and around you that just evaporates."

I don't want to be where we are anymore. I feel so vulnerable. This isn't me. I don't like the feeling of someone knowing they make me feel this type of shit. It's unnerving. She doesn't understand anything about me, but she also completely knows me. How can someone not understand you, yet know you? If I can't make sense of the situation, then I shouldn't be in it. I'm going to let her take control of our conversation over dinner. This time, it won't be me calling the shots. I want her... I need her. I can't have her leaving me again. I need to know what she wants... if she wants anything at all. 

"Come, we need to talk, and you need to eat."