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Clearsight

You know... this isn't the first time I've worried our relationship wouldn't make it.

Not the first time I've been haunted by nightmares for way too long.

I still can't process what happened. Can't make sense of any of this.

***

When we were seven, Darkstalker made himself invulnerable.

I'm the only dragon who knows about it. But he did.

He didn't tell me about it. I found out on an ordinary day. Hanging out in his room, talking about our futures. I was reading through his scroll mostly just for the entertainment value to be honest, and... then I saw it. Sandwiched between the lines at the top.

Enchant Darkstalker's scales to become invulnerable to any attack.

At first? I honestly couldn't process what was even happening. It felt surreal. My heart pounded in my chest. Way, way too loud.

"Darkstalker?"

He looked over at me, a little tired. Calm. He was probably thinking about something completely ridiculous right now, like schoolwork. Schoolwork.
How could anyone care about schoolwork when Darkstalker had done something like that? Something major. Something I had been terrified of him doing for a long, long time. And he hadn't even told me about it.

I couldn't breathe.

I thrust the scroll in his face. "When exactly did you do this?"

"What are you talking about?"

I hissed. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, Darkstalker of the NightWings."

"I—" his whole expression changed as his eyes scanned over the words.

"When did you do this?"

"About a year ago, I don't know—darling, it's not what it seems I promise—"

"Really? Because it looks to me like you enchanted yourself to be invulnerable and then completely hid it from me."

"It's not that much of a big deal—"

"Yeah, it is. Darkstalker, why did you hide this from me?" I tried to sound angry. But... there was something else into my tone.  Hurt. Betrayal.

It wasn't that he'd done the spell. I mean, that's his choice. Did I have problems with it? Yes. But it was his magic, not mine.

What hurt was that... he'd hidden it. Completely.

Why would he keep something like that from me? I thought we told each other everything.

"Clearsight, I just knew you'd react like this. I was planning on telling you eventually—"

"Really?" I glare.

"Clearsight, please." He looked desperate. Maybe more desperate than I'd ever seen him look before.

"What did you think would happen?" I meet his eyes, which is difficult, given how adamantly he's avoiding my gaze.

"I just figured it was easier not to tell you."

"Is there anything else you've been hiding from me?"

He grates his teeth. "No! Clearsight, of course not!"

"Darkstalker. How am I supposed to trust you when you—this is serious. This isn't just, oopsy, forgot to tell my girlfriend of five years that I'd done a major spell behind her back—"

"Clearsight..."

"Do a spell. Right now. Enchanting all of the secret spells on that scroll to show themselves."

"Clearsight. There's nothing! I would never do that to you!"

***

It wasn't that he had done the spell. Even though I didn't think it was the best idea in the world, but I could have come to peace with it if he had just told me about it.

It was that... until that day, I hadn't realized. How little he really trusted me.

And I know it was silly, but... I trusted him. I trusted him with a lot. And the fact that he didn't, that he thought he could just opt out of every potential disagreement in our relationship, perpetually controlling what I thought... it made me angry.

It made me angry that he broke his promise, not to keep any secrets.

It took us months to get over. And... to be honest, I think both of us are still a little haunted by it.

***

"I need you to promise me something," I said firmly.

"Clearsight..."

"No. Listen. I don't want you to keep things behind my back like that. Ever. Okay, Darkstalker? It's not love, trying to control my opinion of what you do. That's not the dragon I want to spend the rest of my life with."

His mouth hung open for a second. I was a little scared he would say no. And it was a possible future, that.

"I promise."

My shoulders slumped down. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

"Thank you."

***

So no. This isn't the first time it's felt like our relationship was standing at the edge of a precipice, about to fall off it.

It's not the first time a secret has threatened everything.

But it scares me, is all.

As the visions flash through my head. Because this is serious. This makes that time look like nothing.

I still can't even process the fact that Darkstalker's dad is dead.

This has the potential to ruin everything.

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