The Trouble with Friendship

🧵 Six: I Ain't Sayin' She a Sly Digger

Her dad patted the top of her head and said gently, "All we're saying is true friendships don't hold people back. They lift them up."

"And think how great it'll look on your college application," her mom interjected. She pointed to the carrots on Alex's plate and mouthed, "Eat."

Alex nibbled on the carrot and swallowed it down with orange juice. Maybe she could hide a couple under the mash potatoes. "I'm not even thinking about colleges yet."

At least not the traditional types. She'd been playing with the idea of fashion school, but she could already hear the moans of despair. Getting a bachelor degree was number one on her parent's "Alex Must Accomplish Before We Die" list. They wanted her to follow her dreams, but she had to get a degree first. That way she could support herself if things didn't pan out.

It was the smart, sensible thing to do, but Alex didn't want smart and sensible. Smart and sensible took precious time that could be spent learning the fashion industry.

"You should," her mom countered. "We'll need all the scholarship money and financial aid we can get."

A knot of tension formed in Alex's shoulders. Money. A never-ending issue between her parents. She hoped it wouldn't turn into another screaming match. When she was little, Alex would hide under the covers and pretend she couldn't hear them ripping into each other. Her parents had a way of turning any topic into an argument about money. If they were superheroes that would be their gift, or curse, in this case.

"Alex, are you listening?" Her mom tapped her fork against the plate. "These things are important. We don't have the money like the Lorde's. If you get into your dream school, and we can't afford it, then you can't go. Period. There's no nest egg squirreled away to save the day."

"I know," Alex said sharply. They repeated it so often it was burned into her brain in big, bold letters.

"Hey," her dad snapped. He rarely reprimanded Alex for anything, but show the slightest sign of disrespect and bam—he was on her like glue. "Don't talk to your mother in that tone. We're explaining this for your benefit."

Alex wasn't ignorant. She understood they worked hard for every penny, grinding out the hours, and then scrimping and saving so they could afford small treats like going to the movies or eating out. She loved her parents for it, but almost every conversation about her future ended in talk of money.

Yes, money was crucial—she saw it every time she was at the mall with Alexx—but for once could they not make it seem like the money apocalypse was approaching?

Alex was only fifteen. She had decades of worrying ahead of her. Couldn't they allow her a few more years of teenage bliss?

***

After dinner, Alex locked herself in her room, and turned on her music, turning up the volume until she could feel the bass beating in her chest. She suffered through an hour of their agonizing lectures, jumping from colleges to jobs, to how she would be able to afford textbooks and living on her own. Her head pounded as pressure compounded on her chest, making her feel trapped.

She wanted to scream, to let it all out and let the world know how she was feeling.

But the world wouldn't care.

But Alexx would...

Grabbing the notebook, she laid across her bed and turned to an empty page.

Georgie,

First of all, I'm sorry it took me this long. I could pretend I was too busy, but that's just an excuse because I'm never too busy for you. You're my friend. My best friend and that means something. So why the delay? Well, the truth is I wasn't sure how to respond. Not because you wrote anything wrong because you one hundred percent didn't, but because I didn't want to mess this up.