The Marauders: Year Seven Part One

Magnificoooooooo Distractions

It was late in the evening when Minerva McGonagall was sitting in her office, sipping a cup of tea and working on grading third year parchments. Her glasses were low on her nose and the flickering of her torch light made the paper glow orange as she struggled to make out the messy handwriting of one of the students as they rambled on and on about some subject only slightly connected to Transfiguration in an attempt to fill a bit of the two foot of parchment due... Suddenly there was a sound in the hallway, deep and booming, and she looked up from the parchment, her eyes flicking over the rim of the frames.

The distinct thumping of a bassline - music, rock music - was growing louder, stronger, vibrating the floor so that her tea cup clattered against the saucer and the tea rippled. She looked down at it, and sighed heavily, letting the nonsensical paper roll itself up as she stood, lifting her wand from the brass stand she kept it on while it was not in use, and pulling her thick tartan shawl close, her braid falling over her shoulder as she clutched it with one hand and started for the hallway.

The moment the door opened, the music became decibels louder and she muttered under her breath, "Sirius Black... why do I just know already..." and stared down the corridor, her mouth twisted in disapproval as she moved hurriedly toward the stairwell. 

Sure enough, Sirius Black stood on the stairwell, the torches flickering in dramatically colored flames, a flashing light like a strobelight from Merlin-knows-where... Sirius wore his boots, a pair of muggle jeans and a tight white tank top, his leather jacket flung over the stair banister, clutching his wand as though it were a microphone....

"I see a little silhoutette-oh of a man - Scaramouche, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango? THUNDERBOLTS AND LIGHTENING, very, very frightening!" he was singing dramatically - music magically booming through the corridor, so loudly that the portraits were trembling against the wall, their occupants covering their ears and holding onto the gilded frames with terrified looks. A painted baby was shrieking, crying loudly, his mother glaring in disapproval as Sirius Black. "GALILEO!... GALILEO!!! GALILEO!!! Figaroooo... Magnificoooooooo!"

"SIRIUS BLACK!" McGonagall shouted, trying to be head over the racket, but Sirius was impossible to distract.

"I'm just a poor boy from a poor family! Nobody loveeees meeeeee! HE'S JUST A POOR BOYYY FROM A POOR FAMILYYYYYYY SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITYYYYYYYY!!!!!!"

"MISTER BLACK!" McGonagall waved her wand, "Finite Incantantum!" 

The lights stopped flickering, but the music - somehow the music did not... and the next thing she knew, Sirius Black was air-guitaring furiously as he flung himself down the stairs on his knees, tumbling down to her feet, leaning back with the most dramatic look upon his face that any had ever seen. 

"Anyyyyy wayyyyy the wind bloooooooows," he sang softly as the music faded out, staring up at her, arms flung theatrically wide. When the final note had faded away, he flicked his wand and there came a scratch of a record, and he grinned up at her, his forehead a bit sweaty, puffing as he was slightly winded, and flung back his head to get a couple errant strands out of his face. "Hullo, Minnie."

"What in the name of Merlin are you doing?" McGonagall demanded.

Sirius replied, "Just... Enjoying a bit of Freddy Mercury, Minnie darling. Have you heard of him? He's absolutely bloody brilliant as fuck."

"Get up," McGonagall demanded.

Sirius popped up to his feet quickly, tucking his wand into the knot at the back of his head. He grabbed his leather jacket and withdrew a folded photograph. "I was thinking of growing a mustache like his. What do you think? Do you reckon I could pull it off?"