The Girl Nextdoor

Chapter 24

I furrowed my brows in confusion because I didn't understand what she was saying.

"You were right when you said I didn't love you back then." She continued. "But I think that's because I never knew what love felt like. But I think it was mostly because I didn't know Camila back then, I only knew bows. I always had this sudden interest for you and it's because you're different. And I've always liked that about you. So the day I asked you to be my fuck buddy, I didn't just do it for the hell of it. I did it because I wanted to experiment with you. You were right, I was nerd curious but it was the mere fact that I craved you that drew me in. And after I got to know you better, I realized that you're not just bows. Your adorable, smart, funny and you piss me off...alot but I love that about you. So last night wasn't a mistake, nor was it a victory on my part. It was a failure. I promised myself that I would stay away from you for the night, but I couldn't and now...you've won. You've succeeded in convincing me that I was wrong. You've convinced me of the thing that I never wanted to do. The thing that I thought would never happen to me. The thing that I never thought I'd say to you. Camz, I-"

"Lauren don't-" I interrupted in fear of hearing her say the remorseful words that I've been dying to hear all my life.

"I love you." She said then cupped my face to look me directly in the eyes, "I fucking love you Bows." She repeated a little slower for me to comprehend it.

I stood there with my jaw dropped. I couldn't believe that she just said that. I couldn't believe that this was really happening.

My conscious made it's way into my blank mind to remind me of Lauren and her ways. Whether she loved me or not, she couldn't of loved me enough to forget about her reputation. She couldn't of loved me enough to tell people and as long as I knew that this was true, her love couldn't of have been as pure as she made it seem.

"No." I simply replied, "Y-you can't."

"From what I learned from you, I can. You're never restricted from loving someone. No matter how weird, different or absurd it may seem. You don't choose who you love. You just do it."She explained as her voice began to grow angrier with each word she said against my response.

"Lauren..."

"I didn't choose you Camz. Don't you get that?" Her voice almost faded at the end. "I just love you and I can't do anything about it. I can't help that I fell in love with you."

"But you didn't. You're not in love with me. You can't be."

"Why not Camz?!"

"Because! You already said it were not even from the same species. You're Lauren Jauregui and I'm just bows. You're not supposed to love me back and you already know that."

"Listen to me Camz. You were right when you said that I wasn't in love with you back then. Because I wasn't. I didn't fall in love with Camila Cabello." She paused, "I fell for Bows."

I shook my head lightly, "Okay now I'm confused... Bows is the part of me that you're ashamed of...the part of me that you don't want to show to everyone."

"Bows is the first side of you that I ever knew. I knew Bows before I ever even met Camila and something about her just drew me in. Something about Bows made you visible. Perhaps it was your beauty or maybe it was your cute nerdy habits that invited me in. But whatever it was, it brought me to you."

Her words brought tears to my eyes.

"I'm in love with you Camila. I love every part that makes you who you are. You are bows. And I love her too." Lauren continued, as she wiped a few of my tears away with the pads of her thumbs.