audacity // kryoz

thirteen

Just before stepping through the doorway, I place the spare key back on the doorway. I lock the door behind me, drop my purse and my heels at the door before realizing something.

In this very moment, I was content with my life. At 11:48 AM I realized that I was happy.

"Where the fuck were you? Did you fuck David?"

These words from an unknown source makes me come out of my daze. I look up to see where the voice came from and see an annoyed Joy. She was standing in my kitchen with her arms crossed. I noticed that she was wearing some of my pajamas so I assumed that she slept here. I didn't really care about her sleeping in my apartment. She'd done it before, but I wasn't too keen on her jumping on my dick as soon as I got in. I get that she is probably concerned but damn, let me sit down first.

"I didn't fuck David. First of all, I would never fuck someone on the first date and second of all, the date went horribly." I say to her as walk deeper into my apartment. I make my way past the living room and the kitchen to my room. As I walk past the couch, I see pillows and blankets strewn across it. I also see Chinese takeout boxes on the coffee table. Looking a little bit more closely, I saw that 2 of the boxes were left unopened.

I heard her ask numerous amounts of questions as she followed me into my room. I knew that I wouldn't be able to get a single word in unless she stopped so I waited. I stop in front of my bed and turn to her. I watch her mouth move, only partly listening.

"-called you so many times and you never answered. I was so worried that you'd been drugged or-"

I cut her off, "I know you were worried about me but nothing happened. Thank you for worrying about me though,"

She looks at me with soft eyes before tightly hugging me. I was barely able to wrap my arms around her before she pulls away and says, "Why the hell do you smell like a mix of cologne and men's body wash?"

I unwrap my arms from around her just before smiling sheepishly at her. "Don't worry I'll tell you after I take a shower,"

She looks a little upset that I wasn't telling her this very moment but she doesn't say anything. I assumed that she accepted my excuse so I walked away from her and towards the bathroom. 

***

Standing in the shower with the hot water beating against my back, I started to rack my brain for any memories of last night. All I can remember well is the atrocity that is the date I had with David, oddly John's laugh echoing throughout the bar, the eight shots I had and the emotions that I was trying to push back with the help of vodka. According to John, my efforts were futile because I still cried. Oh well, I guess my streak of being strong was ruined. 

Everything else besides that was a fuzzy mess. The only problem was that I remember feeling that windstorm of my emotions, however, it felt like the pain was erased or soothed. It doesn't sting like how it used to. Every time I would have slight mental breakdowns, I would always feel it the next day but now I don't. I have no idea how to explain it. It was the weirdest feeling. 

To top it all off, I woke up in John's bed with no recollection of how or when I got there. I remember seeing him at the bar but it was all really fuzzy and it was hard for me to decern details. The one detail I do remember is how entranced by John I was. It was honestly embarrassing but I don't blame myself. I'm sure that if I stared at him while I was sober I would have a hard time looking away. Oh, my days. Here go those stupid thoughts again. I'm so frustrated right now. My brain is a jumbled mess and I had no idea how to sort them all out. Ugh.

After a few seconds, I give up on trying to organize my thoughts, for now at least. I settled on just putting shampoo in my hair.

***

I threw the shower curtain back and stepped out of the tub onto the bath mat.  In the steamy bathroom, I quickly wrapped myself in a towel and wrapped my wet hair in another towel. I swiftly walked into my closet and threw on a random pair of grey sweatpants and a cropped twenty-one pilots shirt. I left the towel wrapped around my head and walked out to join Joy in the living room. I instead found her in the kitchen standing in front of the microwave.

Waiting for her to return from the kitchen, I sank into the couch with a sigh. That shower was much needed. I feel so much better.

After a few seconds of waiting silently, I hear the microwave beep and soon Joy returns with the steaming box in her hands. The smell of it makes my stomach growl. She hands the hot box to me and a pair of wooden chopsticks before sinking into the couch beside me. I open it to find lo mien. I smile at the box, Joy knows me so well. I immediately snap the chopsticks and begin shoving the noodles into my mouth. As I was throwing noodles into my mouth I saw Joy tuck her legs underneath her and turn towards me out of the corner of my eye.

With noodles both in my mouth and hanging out, I turn my head to her while raising my eyebrows, silently asking her what was up.

"So, are you gonna tell me now?"

Through a mouthful of food I answer, "Yeah, let me swallow first,"

"That's what she said," Joy, mumbled.

I started to laugh but instead started chocking on the noodles in my mouth. 

***

"Holy shit," Joy says as I finish telling her what I remember from last night.

A/N

i meant for this chapter to be different and come out sooner but i got writers block for a long ass time. sorry. until next time. love u