audacity // kryoz

eleven

I groaned. Why now? I just need to call an uber so I can get out of here. John asks me what wrong and I explain my predicament.

"If you want, I can drive you home,"

Immediately, I started to shake my head, denying his offer. I open my mouth to talk but he cuts me off, "Don't worry, it's not a burden. I have to run some errands anyway,"

Somehow, I sensed that he didn't need to run some errands but I didn't comment on it and instead begin to weigh my options. I can attempt at walking home but I have no idea where I am or how to get home. And if I decide to walk, I only have my heels which hurt way too much, meaning I would have to walk barefoot which isn't much better. 

I could also ask John to borrow a phone cord so I can charge my phone and get an uber or call Joy but I really don't want to be here any longer. I don't want to overstay my welcome which I'm afraid I probably already have. Besides, I would feel really awkward about being in his house any longer. It's not like I know Joy's number off the top of my head so I can't call her from John's phone and even if I did know it, I doubt she would pick up a phone call from an unknown number. It seems that my only option is to get a ride from John. I feel as if he was doing too much for me but it's my only option.

I realized that I spaced out for a few seconds when I saw John looking at expectingly. Oh fuck, I need to give him an answer. "Um, are you sure? I don't want to put you in an awkward position and you've already done so much," I started fidgeting with my hands.

He gives me a small smile and reassures me once again, "It really is okay, now are you willing to get into my car?"

I start to laugh a bit. "I don't know, this seems kinda suspicious to me," I say with a small smile on my face

"Well, don't worry, I'm not gonna kill you. So is that a yes?"

I smile, "If you promise not to kill me, then yeah,"

His face seems to brighten at my agreement. "I promise," 

He then tells me that he needs to get his car keys and dashes towards the stairs. I was left standing by the door, aimlessly. I began to hear hushed whisper-yelling. I couldn't quite make out what they were saying but based on the volume, I could tell it wasn't good. I just hope it's not about me.

Oh my fucking god. I want to bang my head against a fucking wall. I'm getting so fucking tired of this. I hate this so goddamn much. I've never cared what anyone has to think about me but I meet John and suddenly everyone's opinion of me matters again. My subconscious kept whispering to me, that it's only John's opinion that I care about but I refuse to believe it. He's no one special to me so why should I give a rat's ass about his opinion? I internally groan. I need to fix this. I need to go back to the way things were, uncomplicated. Yesterday was a shit storm of feelings and I don't want it to happen again. I just need to sort my thoughts out.

"Ready to rock and roll?" John asks as he walks back into the foyer. Immediately, I noticed that he had changed his clothes. Instead of his pajama pants and a baggy t-shirt, he was wearing blue jeans and a color block hoodie and had put black vans on. It didn't seem like he tried to tame his hair at all but I didn't mind it.

I giggled, "Way to sound like a white dad," I say with a slight smile.

Smiling, he shrugs and says, "I'm already white, halfway there,"

I laugh lightly as he unlocks and opens the door exiting first. I follow him out but he doesn't lock the door behind us which I thought was a little odd but I didn't question it. He starts heading towards the driveway and I follow closely behind him barefoot with my heels in my hand and my purse over my shoulder. I wasn't concerned where he was leading me at all, I was too busy trying not to step on anything too sharp. Looking up briefly, I noticed that he lead me to a grey truck. 

He unlocked the car while he was walking around to the driver's side. Once the doors had been unlocked, I opened the door and tried my hardest to get it. It was high and I was so afraid of falling. Making sure I had a firm grasp on the door, I hauled myself into the seat and closed the door behind me. I let out a sigh and looked up to see John eyeing me.

"Can I help you?" I say with an attitude

"Yes actually, you can tell me where you live,"

My cheeks begin to glow at his statement. How can I be so stupid? Of course, he doesn't know where I live and needs me to tell him.

"Uh, I live at 153 Farrow Road,"

He furrows his brows, silently asking me to clarify so I did.

"Across from the Target"

He simply nods and puts the keys into the ignition and starts the car. The rumble of the engine reminds me to buckle my seatbelt.

***

The silence between us was deafening. The only thing heard was the radio softly playing an unrecognizable sone. I felt the need to say something and fill the silence but I had no idea what to say so I didn't say anything.

I laid my hands in my lap and kept to myself. I looked over at John but his eyes were glued onto the road. As they should be but I was hoping he would catch my eyes and say something so I wouldn't have to suffer in this slightly awkward silence. The sunlight was pouring through the windshield and illuminating his entire face. He looked really fucking good. I began reaching for my phone to take a picture but I realized that not only was my phone dead, but it was also really weird to randomly take a picture of someone I barely know. So to keep myself from staring at the man beside me, I started staring out of the window, watching the trees and buildings pass by. I begin to fall back into my thoughts.

Looking at my hands I began to think about what would happen once I got out of this car. Would I never see him again? Would I just forget about him? Or even worse, would he forget about me? I started spiraling down a dangerous series of 'what if's'.

No. I closed my eyes and tried to keep myself grounded. I couldn't have a panic attack here. My eyes shot open when John softly touched my arm. It almost seemed as if he was afraid to touch me with how light the touch was. 

"I think we're here,"

I looked out the window and sure enough, there was my apartment complex.

"Oh, yeah we are," I replied a little sad that I would have to leave the small amount of comfort that John gives me. I pulled myself together and put on my big girl panties and got out of the car. Just before I pushed the door closed, I turned around to thank him.

"Thank you for everything, I'd probably be dead if you hadn't come to the rescue. If there's anything I can do to pay you back, just tell me,"

"Well, there is one thing," he said drawing out his words,

I furrowed my brows slightly with a small half smile on my face, "Okay, what is it?"

"Give me your number," he says with a wide smile.

I laugh loudly, "I honestly wasn't expecting that, but okay,"

He grins, pulls out his phone from his pocket and unlocks it before handing it to me. I quickly type in my number and save it under 'Anna' knowing that later on, he would come up with a clever name. I hand his phone back to him and step away from the car so I can close the door. I begin to walk away to my building in front of me but after a few steps I turn around and wave John 'goodbye'. He smiles and waves back before pulling off.

With a smile on my face, I climb the stairs. I was too lazy to dig around my purse for my keys so I reached up and used the spare key I kept above the doorway to unlock the front door.

Just before stepping through the doorway, I place the spare key back on the doorway. I lock the door behind me, drop my purse and my heels at the door before realizing something.

In this very moment, I was content with my life. At 11:48 AM I realized that I was happy.

A/N

thank you so much for 2k reads. i lied about updating more frequently but i'm back baby. for good this time.