Bound To Love

Neil

Chapter 24 - "Standing Stronger"

"Forget me" I remembered saying that. I remembered pushing her away from me. I remembered controlling my urge to cry out aloud. I remembered hugging her knowing it to be the last time. I remembered doing everything in a hurry just because I didn't know what else to do. I regretted and I did not.

I didn't know at what point of my life was I standing. My fate snatched my breathe from me. Wasn't that unfair? I had been in a delusion that these twists exist in movies only. But I wasn't a part of a film! Was I?

After coming back home, I had locked myself in my room. Throwing everything out of place, I later found myself lying at a corner near my bed. My eyes were reddened, still the stubborn tears did not leave me alone. Every time her smiling face flashed in front of my eyes, I couldn't help but dip myself into the guilt that shouldn't be with me.

I looked at her picture on my phone's wallpaper. She meant the world to me but she couldn't be a part of my world. My fate didn't allow that and I was helpless. I sensed my head spinning and my hands trembling. At a moment, the phone slipped off my hand.

"I am sorry Avni." I managed to whisper under my breathe. "I love you and I'll always do."

Sighing, I got up, and headed towards the open deck. The sky with it's orange hue wasn't at all merciful over me. I looked up, the sun was about to set.

"I so love sunsets. We'll go together one day near the mountains to see the sun set. Okay?" Her words rang in my ears. I shut my eyes tight, biting my lower lip trying hard to not cry.

The next moment that I opened my eyes, I headed back inside my room only to halt in my tracks. There, on my left was kept the aquarium. The fishes moved here and there, taking me to her once again.

"You know I have always loved fishes. Out of all the animals, fishes are my favorite."

Unknowingly, I screamed out her name that echoed and rang in my own ears over and over again. Twice, thrice, again and again until my voice gave up making me fall down on my knees. I cried and cried strenuously until I heard the door clicking open and DD rushing inside.

"Neil" I heard him say as I titled my head helplessly whispering his name. He came and hugged me, rubbing my arms soothingly in order to calm me down.

"DD! Avni, woh- I had- I had to l-leave her. I- DD, Avni-" For the first time after all this while, I broke down so bad. I had been crying before but silently. This time it took all my inner courage to cry and shout out.

"She will hate me after this, I am sure." I stuttered, rubbing my tears mercilessly.

"Ah no! She loves you and she always will. Calm yourself down Neil. You need to be stronger." I heard him say as he got hold of my neck to make me look at him.

"Did I do the right thing?" I spoke, my voice barely audible.

"What did you do? Tell me." He asked, seating himself in a more comfortable position now.

Then, I simply narrated the whole story to him, sobbing in between as if I wasn't a grown up man.

I didn't have the courage to look at his reactions though I heard his gasps a bit.

After a good two minutes, he composed himself and hugged me tighter as I let myself cry my heart.

After I was in my senses a bit and my cries had slowed down, he pulled back from me. Tilting my head in his direction, he started speaking, "It's okay. Everything will be alright. You didn't do the right thing by creating a misunderstanding. But now it's done. You aren't right and you aren't wrong. Situation made you do that. Right?" He paused, looking at me. I felt he was trying to speak strongly because may be even he couldn't afford to loose such a good friend.

"You were helpless and restless. You didn't know what to do. And so you did what you thought was right because you knew if you stopped, you wouldn't be able to do anything."

I nodded, my tears drying. "So, don't blame yourself for anything. I repeat, ANYTHING. Get that?" He spoke again, looking at me expectantly. I nodded my head as slowly as I could before he patted my shoulder and walked out of the room.

Her memories flashed through my mind, making my dried eyes pour again.

Bekhayali mein bhi tera hi khayal aaye

Kyun bicharna hai zaroori yeh sawaal aaye

Teri nazdeekiyon ki khushi behisaab thi

Hissay mein faasle bhi tere bemisaal aaye

I snatched her fairy tale dream. She had been expecting so much from and what did I do? I asked her to forget me, knowing it was way too tough.

Bekhayali mein bhi tera hi khayal aaye

Kyun judaai dey gaya tu yeh sawaal aaye

Thoda sa mein khafa hogaya apne aap se

Thoda sa tujh pe bhi malaal aaye

I was responsible for every tear of hers. I could've told her the truth, but then leaving her would've been more hard. I didn't want to fall weak. Especially in front of her.

Raatein dengi baata neendon mein teri hi baat hai

Bhoolun kaise tujhe tu tou khayaalon mein sath hai

Bekhayali mein bhi tera hi khayaal aaye

Kyun bichadna hai zaroori yeh sawaal aaye

I had to be strong. Every vision would be blurring for me and every step would be stumbling, without her by my side, but I had to stand on my own feet, for I wouldn't be getting a chance to have her in my arms ever again.

Aa zamaane aazma ley rooth'ta nahi

Faaslon se hosla yeh toot'ta nahi

Living in this world will be tough, but not having her with me doesn't mean I'll fell.

Na hai woh bewafaa aur na mein hun bewafaa

Woh meri aadaton ki tarah choot'ta nahi

I did not ditch her, nor did she. All I knew was that, she'll forever be locked in my heart.

###

So guys? How are you all?

This update was just to clarify all that Neil did. I hope it's worth accepting.

Also, I really wanted Neil to break down in front of DD and him to calm him down. I don't know if this bond turned out well.

Do tell me how did you like this one.

Much Love.